She’s looking up at me with hopeful eyes, and I do kiss her again. I run my tongue across her lips and she opens her mouth, and I take it. The way she immediately surrenders makes me hard and I pull her closer, press her harder against the wall so she’s feeling all of me. “It took me a long time to not think about you and me kissing in the scene,” I say. “And I tried to look at you, but you were lost in directing. I even thought about the fact that even though Harley was falling out of that shirt that it did absolutely nothing for me.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
She smiles. “Okay.”
“It’s not going to be easy watching me pretend to have sex with her either.”
She makes a face. “I know, but I’ll make it work. This is my job, and you better make that scene as hot as you can. And then when you’re done, you come home and you take all the sexy energy out on me.”
“Just like I’m about to do right now?”
Amber giggles. “Exactly.”
“I’m sorry that it has to be like this,” she says. “I wish you could come over and just kiss me and have everybody know. I wish things weren’t the way that that they are.”
I laugh, pulling her down onto the couch with me. “I’m fine with it, as long as I get to keep having moments like this with you.”
She laughs too. “I think you might like fucking me in secret a little too much.”
“You’re the one who came here and also the one who suggested the bathroom at Fantasia. If I like it, you do too.” I peel her shirt back and run my tongue along the line of her collarbone. “Maybe you want to be caught and get it over with.”
“I do not!” she says, hitting my arm. “I just don’t like my life being harder than it needs to be. We both worked hard to get where we are, and this isn’t making it any easier. You know just as well that nothing has ever been easy for us. Nothing. I don’t think I’d even be here and we wouldn’t be together again if it weren’t for Mr. Davidson’s letter.”
I stop. The letter. I’d almost forgotten about those. “You know about the letter.”
Amber bites her lip. “Yeah. I remembered it the other day and I wanted to tell you that I knew but I wasn’t sure how to bring it up because I knew that it was supposed to be a secret.”
“How did you know?”
“I had to delay all my applications for a year because of the heart stuff. So when I went to interview, they told me about the package. I called Mr. Davidson and he told me that it was you. I never got to thank you for it. I did try to text you, but your number was different.”
That feels like being punched in the stomach. “I had to change it after my mother came back and robbed me. It was so that she wouldn’t find me again. Now I really wish that I hadn’t changed it.”
“Your mother?”
“I’ll tell you about it sometime,” I say. “Not now.”
“Okay. I just wanted to say thank you. Because you brought us back together by doing that.”
I can’t say anything, because it feels like too much. I kiss her instead until we’re both panting, hands roaming. “You never have to worry about transition,” I tell her, pulling her deeper into the trailer, “because I’ll tell you.”
“We’ve transitioned?”
“Yes.”
She sighs contentedly. “Okay. But after this morning, I need to tell you that I’m kind of sore.”
“Hmmm…” I make a show of slowly running my hands down her body. “Whatever am I going to do with you then?”
“I don’t know.”
I study her face as I consider my options. “I could take you with my fingers and have you lick them clean.” Her eyes widen, and I think I need to spend some more time to think of creative dirty things to do, because I’m not sure some of this stuff has even occurred to Amber.
“I could stick your panties in your mouth to keep you quiet and then use my mouth on you until you come.”
Her breath hitches on that one, and I file away the knowledge that she might not mind being gagged for a sexy reason.
“I could make you suck me off, and you get nothing. So that you have to spend the rest of the day wet and wanting and knowing that you’re not allowed to come until I touch you again.”
Amber groans, letting her head fall against my chest. “I shouldn’t want that, but I do.”
I drop my hand down and slip it between her legs. Even through her jeans I can feel her heat. I rub my finger across the seam, and she gasps, hips jerking. She wants more, and I let her ride my hand for a few seconds, eyes closed, before I pull it away. “That’s all you get.”