//////////////////////////////////////////////////
It was out of Enid’s hands, then. The committee arranged the exile, asked Patel and Denis to take charge of Juni until the traders left for the long trip south. Juni would be cared for until then. Given a room and food. But nothing else. No one wanted even to talk to her. Enid decided she didn’t need to see the woman again.
The whole process took long enough that she and Teeg spent the night at the town’s way station, which had a hot shower. Enid would never get tired of hot showers. She tried not to take too long, not to drain the tank and leave nothing for the next person. But it was hard, and she still felt worn out and grubby when she finished. The clean clothes, though—those felt marvelous.
When she went out to the front porch to get some air, to watch stars come out, she met Teeg slouched on the steps, apparently with the same idea.
He held his brown investigator’s tunic scrunched up in his lap.
Instead of his uniform, he wore a sleeveless linen undershirt. His arms were lean and strong, the brown skin shining with a glow of summer sweat. Elbows on knees, he stared out at the street, at the normalcy of it all. He didn’t react to her approach. She was sure he’d seen her. Maybe he felt that nothing needed to be said.
“Hola,” she said, when she got close enough that staying silent would be rude. “You okay?”
When he looked over, his lips were pursed, like he was working to keep his expression still. She didn’t know what to say to draw him out. Finally, after too much silence, he reached out, handing her his tunic. “I’ve decided I can’t do this.”
She stared at the offering, leaving it hanging between them. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not meant to be an investigator. This proved it.”
“One rough case and you’re ready to give it all up? Is that it?”
When she refused to take the tunic from him, he let his arm drop, and his shoulders slumped. “I was wrong. I was wrong on everything. I don
’t want to do this.”
She didn’t know why she should feel panic at this declaration, why her immediate urge was to talk him out of it, explain to him all the ways he was wrong. Like she’d been telling him he was wrong all week. Maybe this time he wasn’t wrong. But she didn’t want him to quit, and she couldn’t even say why.
“I think you’re in a rush. You need to think this over. Talk to regional, talk to Patel.”
“Already thought it over. Sorry, Enid. I know you’re disappointed.”
“I just want to understand.” His handing over the tunic—she felt like she’d failed. She was supposed to mentor him on his first case, yet here he was, ready to quit. She’d failed him.
His sigh was desolate. “I didn’t follow you up the river because I thought you were wrong. I stayed behind because I was scared. And this job, this thing we do—you can’t be scared and still do the work.”
She couldn’t argue with that.
“I hate that,” he added. “That I didn’t follow you. Thing is, even knowing how it all turned out—I still wouldn’t.”
He had the tunic wadded up like a rag, squeezing like he was angry at it. She wanted to take it, smooth it out, fold it neatly.
Neither of them had spoken aloud the obvious: that someone who didn’t want to be an investigator absolutely shouldn’t be one.
And Teeg didn’t want it. He wasn’t asking questions anymore.
“I’m not going to take that from you, Teeg,” she stated. “Take it to the committee and talk it over with your folk. You’re not thinking clear right now.”
“I haven’t stopped thinking about it since we left the Estuary. Done enough thinking about it.” He bit the words off.
Enid didn’t feel much like sitting and taking in the evening air anymore. She wanted to take a walk, even in the dark. She wanted to walk all the way back to Haven.
“Anyway, I wanted to thank you,” he said.
“For what?”
“For making it all clear. What the job’s really about.”
“I’m not sure I know what it’s about.”