“Go ahead.”
“After Meka nutted up and ran in the bathroom, for the first time in my life I felt bad about gettin’ some pussy,” Black said and Bobby looked at him.
“You been down here in the sun too long, Mike. You ain’t never supposed to feel bad about pussy.”
“I know, but I did. Not because I fucked her, because I fucked up the business relationship we had. Fuckin’ made it too complicated for her.” Black got up, leaned over the rail and hoped that he hadn’t made the same mistake with Jada West. “Felt like I’d done something wrong.”
“Gettin’ pussy ain’t ever wrong,” Bobby said. “You’re down here in the land of half naked women, you’re supposed to be gettin’ all the pussy you can handle.”
“That’s just it, Bobby, I haven’t been. The whole time I’ve been here, it’s just been me and Cee. And if Cee wasn’t pregnant I probably wouldn’t have fucked either of them.”
“Do you love CeCe?”
Black looked at Bobby and thought before he answered. “I like Cee, she’s a good woman. I like everything about her. Cee is smart, she’s funny, I like being with her, and her and Michelle are great together, but I don’t love her. Not like I should, Bobby not like I should love the woman who is the mother to my children.”
Bobby got up and stood next to him. “Why you think that is?”
“I love somebody else.”
“Who?”
“Cassandra. I still love her, Bobby. I feel like every minute I spend with Cee, that I’m being unfaithful to my wife. Unfaithful to her memory. And if you say I need to let that go and get over it, I’ll throw you in the water.”
“I wasn’t gonna say that. And just what do you think I was gonna be doin’ while you were tryin’ to throw me in the water?” Bobby asked and they laughed. “Anyway what I was gonna say is that I understand that you feel that way.”
“I never loved a woman the way I love her.”
“And the reality is that you never will. So you are just gonna have to find a way to live with it.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Black said and got another beer.
“What you gonna do?”
“I’m gonna get drunk and watch you fish. Then I’m gonna go home and let Cee get on my nerves.”
“I know what it’s like livin’ with a pregnant woman,” Bobby said.
“Half the time, Cee can’t stand the sight of me. Says I make her feel sick to her stomach.”
Bobby laughed and sat down. “So what’s going on in the city?” he asked.
“I haven’t been to the city in four months.”
“Been down here hidin’ from Carmen Taylor,” Bobby said and got another beer from the cooler. Carmen was Black’s first love and she had recently returned to New York from Europe and was working as a television reporter.
“I wouldn’t put it in those words, but yeah.”
“You doin’ the right thing.”
“I know.”
“Carmen is kind of a Girl Scout.”
“I know.”
“You broke that woman’s heart once already.”
“I know.”