“Grapes.”
“That’s all? You gotta eat, Carly Jo. Damn it, the baby needs nutrition! If you ain’t gettin’ nutrition, how do you expect it to live?” He barks at me with a thunderous tone.
“Okay, chill out. Damn, I had a busy day, and I don’t have an appetite. I’m taking pre-natal vitamins, and I eat when I’m hungry. So back the hell up.” I shriek. My nerves are tattered enough without him bitchin’ at me. This evening is gonna go to hell in a hand basket, quick. He scrubs his hands roughly against his face, then reaches out to me. I scoot closer to him, but keep a distance between us. He lifts my hand to his mouth, peppering kisses across my knuckles, batting his long silky eyelashes at me.
“I’ve missed ya, darlin’.” He smiles sincerely. I muster up a smile that doesn’t meet my eyes, and lay my head against his chest. The awkward tension about the room is unnerving. Almost as if we’re both afraid of what’s to come, but we know something painful is just beyond th
e bend. Colton decides to order a pizza and we make small talk while we wait for the delivery.
“What day is your appointment? I think I wrote it on the calendar on my desk at work. I wanna go with ya.”
“Uhm, I go back in two weeks though, so maybe you can go then.” He leans up bracing his elbows on his knees, looking over at me with a cocked eye brow; a look that tells me he’s pissed.
“Wait, what? You already had an appointment?” He shakes his head in disbelief. I nod. “Why didn’t you tell me? I really wanted to be there for you, Carly Jo.” He says, disappointment flashing across his eyes.
“I was nervous, and just wanted to be alone for my first appointment. I really didn’t know what to expect.” I say chewing on the bottom of my lip. Colton sits quietly for a few minutes, staring off into oblivion.
“What’d the doctor say? Everything look alright?” He asks.
“Everything is okay. I’m eight weeks along. The expected due date is September 6th.” Colton looks over to me and nods, remaining silent. He is acting eerily odd, like something is bothering him. The door-bell rings, interrupting our conversation. Colton pays the delivery guy, then brings the pizza to the coffee table before going to the kitchen for drinks. We eat in silence, Colton keeping a close eye on me. I manage to get down one slice before the grease laden dough begins to knot my stomach. When Colton see’s that I’m finished, he speaks up.
“Carly Jo, I’ve learned a lot over these last few months. I know that smotherin’ ya only pushes you away more, so I’m tryin’ to give you some room. I know that you’re scared and nervous about your pregnancy, but I want to be there if you’ll let me. If you want to do it all alone, I’ll leave you be. I know we ain’t together, and I ain’t happy ‘bout it. I want us to work through everything, so we can build our family around happiness and love. But you gotta work with me, not against me.” He nods, cueing the end of his short speech as he balls up a napkin in his fist then tosses it to the coffee table. I suck in a long deep breath, as I try to calm my rattled nerves. My heart scatters about wildly in my chest, beating out of rhythm. He laces his fingers through mine, locking out hands together tightly. Tears begin to fill my eyes, but I swipe them away quickly.
“Co-Colton.” I say in a dry, raspy voice. Clearing my throat, I try to speak again. “I’ve carried so much anguish over the pain you caused me over the years. When I found out that you had cheated on me, and you had a little girl, that crushed me.”
Colton holds his hand up in protest, “Baby, damn it why are you goin’ back to this, again?”
“Just hear me out, please?” I plead, and he nods. “It hurt. But no matter how bad that pain was, I could never imagine hurting you that bad. Then after you got hurt, and you told me about hiding the truth from me about Eric, I was hurt even more. I didn’t understand how someone could love me so much, yet continue to hurt me. It just felt like blow after blow, and it continued to build up. I couldn’t take any more lies, no more secrets.” I lean over to the end table to grab a Klennex, wiping away the tears that are rolling down my cheek. “When I left your hospital room that night, I never dreamed that I would be sitting here two months later, about to inflict the same pain on you, that you inflicted on me.” I close my eyes, still chewing on my lip. Trembles snake up my spine and my heart constricts as I find the words within me to give him the honesty he deserves.
“You know that I love you, and I never meant to hurt you, right?” I whisper, my voice barely audible as the anxiety squeezes my chest dry of any air my lungs were reserving. Colton nods, still silently awaiting my confession. “I didn’t have my car at the hospital and it was late. I called Luke to come pick me up, and bring me home. I was so upset, and I didn’t want to be alone.” Colton’s tips my chin up, forcing me to look into his eyes. Without breathing the truth, the pain is already there.
“Baby, you be careful what you say, you hear me?” He says peering down, his eyes giving away the dread that he’s feeling. “I love you so damn much, Carly Jo. Don’t you frickin’ sit here and rip my world apart after I’ve worked too damn hard at buildin’ it back!”
“I don’t want to hurt you, Colton. I swear I’d never want to hurt you, but I can’t change it. I love you so damn much, but I made a mistake.” He shakes his head as tears begin to stream down his face. I scoot closer to him and try to link my arm with his, but he flinches at my touch. Colton’s eyes pinch shut as he pinches the bridge of his nose, resting his head against the back of the couch.
“He touched you, didn’t he?” I nod. He clenches his fists together tightly at the tops of his thighs. “Was he worth it, Carly Jo? I told you, I frickin’ told you that he wasn’t just a friend. He wanted what was mine, but you were too naïve to see it.”
“Colton, I’m so sorry. You of all people should understand. I never meant to hurt you like this. Luke and I just happened. Hell, we were both drunk.” His head springs up, locking his eyes onto mine as the realization of what I am trying to say without really saying it, consumes him. He pounces up to his feet and paces the floor, running his fingers roughly through his thick, dark brown hair. Anger, torment and anguish mare his face as his breathing quickens with a rumbling growl rattling against his chest. He stops pacing, his eyes forming slits as they peer into me with a dark, fierce glare.
“The baby. It may be his?” He growls. I look down at my hands shaking in my lap as tiny droplets of tears cover my shirt sleeve. “How the hell could you do that to me, Carly Jo? Damn it all to frickin’ hell don’t you even friggin’ care ‘bout me, ‘bout us? I don’t know what the hell it takes to prove to you that I regret every ounce of pain I caused you? You screwed that ass just to cut me, just to punish me for hurtin’ you.” He seethes, pacing the floor back and forth. “I can’t even stand to look at you right now. I swear to God, you wait until I get my hands on that prick. I’m done. I can’t keep doin’ this shit.” He says storming out the front door, not even giving me the chance to explain myself.
I jump up from the couch to chase behind him, but I’m too late. I get to the porch just in time to hear the tires squealing and to see the smoke rolling as the rubber burns against the asphalt. My brain switches to auto-pilot letting my heart take over. I drop to my knees on the cold wooden planks of the porch as my legs defy my weight. My chest heaves uncontrollably with chest wracking sobs. He finally left me.
As the cold night air seeps deep into my bones, I find the strength to crawl inside. I search for my cell phone so I can call Luke. As mad as Colton was when he left, I’m sure Luke is in for an ass whoopin’. His line just rings, then goes to voicemail. Panic rips through my chest, worried about what Colton may do. I lay down on the couch, curling my legs into my chest, pressing redial repeatedly, but Luke’s line still goes to voicemail. I dial Colton’s cell phone and it goes to voicemail also. Giving up, I let my heart take over my mind, emotions consuming me as I cry myself to sleep.
A pounding on the front door startles me from my sleep. I pounce up quickly, unsteady on my feet. I make my way to the door, pulling it open slowly to find Luke. I take a step back, making room for him to walk inside. Rubbing my heavy lids I try to focus on Luke’s face. I’m in a foggy, sleep laden haze, but his face looks distorted. When he’s in the light, I gasp, cupping my hands over my mouth as I take in his battered face. “Oh Luke, what the hell happened?”
“I’m fine beauts. Came by to check on you. I’m guessin’ you and him had that same talk tonight that we had today?” He asks, motioning from him to me.
“He did this to you?” I whisper, my voice barely audible.
“Yeah, but it’s nothin’ I couldn’t handle.” Luke says, taking a seat on the couch, propping his leg up on his knee.
“Do you need to go to the hospital?”
“It’s just a few cuts and bruises, Carly. Trust me, he got his.” He spits between his teeth.
“Ah shit, at least let me clean you up, and you can tell me what happened.” I toss back over my shoulder, making my way to the bathroom to get the first aid kit. Walking back into the living room, I pull the coffee table close to the couch, and motion for Luke to lean towards me so I can clean the cuts. There is a laceration over his left eye, swollen and black. Another small laceration on his chin, and across the bridge of his nose. If Luke looks this rough, I dread seeing what Colton looks like. They are both big, strong men, and I can’t begin to imagine who packs the more fierce punch. “Go on, talk.” I tell him, swiping an alcohol pad over the cuts. He winces as the cold liquid seeps into the cut.