I still haven’t worked up the courage to talk to Luke, although I don’t expect his reaction to be as ragingly out of control as I expect Colton to react. Thankfully one of the two men in my life knows how to handle me with gentle ease.
Dr. Staton’s office called yesterday and told me they had a cancellation in the schedule for today, so I didn’t even bother going into Simon Energy. Savannah agreed to go with me for my first appointment, and I couldn’t be more grateful for her during this stressful, agonizing time. On the drive to the hospital she gives me a run-down of what to expect for my first appointment. A burst of laughter bubbles from her chest and passes over her lips as she takes in the contorted look of horror on my face as she explains the Pap-Smear process.
“You ain’t gonna pass out on the exam table are ya Carly?” She asks jokingly. I hide my anxiety with a fake smile and small laugh.
“Well let’s just hope for the best.”
“I’ll hold your hand, little sister.” She giggles.
After I’ve checked in for my appointment and filled out the pages of questions asking for my medical biography, I wait impatiently under shaky legs that don’t seem to stop jumping nervously. I’ve bit a hole in the corner of my lip, pinched a hole in the thick vinyl seating from my death grip, and zoned out any conversation and audible noise that stirs around me.
The thin flesh of my under arm pulls and I flinch at the sensation. Savannah snaps her fingers in front of my face, pulling me from my trance. “Ya alright there, Sis?” I nod. “Let’s go, they’re ready to see you.” She motions to the nurse holding the door open that leads back to the exam rooms. My eyes zoom to the size of saucers as her words register. She gives me a nudge, and I stand on wobbly legs and make my way over to the nurse. She has a small, inviting smile on her face as she introduces herself to me.
“I’m Kaylee. We’ll be seeing a lot of each other.” I smile in return, but can’t find any words to speak. “Go ahead and step up on the scale so I can get your weight, and we will do vitals and a urine test next.” She smiles, peering down at me. After Kaylee has noted my chart, she leads me back to an exam room where she tells me to dress in a rough paper gown. Savannah waits in the hall, and once I’ve put on this glamorous, itchy paper towel, I knock on the door letting her know I’m ready.
Savannah enters the room with Kaylee and Dr. Staton on her heels. I’m a bit taken aback by Dr. Staton’s youth. She is average height, taller than me at 5’5, maybe 5’6. She has long dark blonde hair with caramel highlights, olive toned skin, and light hazel eyes that glisten when her smile reaches her eyes. She can’t be much older than thirty. She stretches her hand out as she introduces herself, and I accept with a warm, clammy hand.
“A bit nervous are ya?” She asks with a twinkle in her eye. I don’t even have time to reply, before she continues. “That’s to be expected. So, Kaylee tells me that you performed a home pregnancy test that was positive, to which she was able to confirm with a test in office. We will do some routine blood work to check your HCG levels, CBC levels and so on.” I nod, cringing over the thought of needles penetrating my skin. “Now lay back, and let’s get this show on the road. Won’t take just a minute.”
Laying back against the cool vinyl table, I pull in a deep inhale of air as Kaylee lifts my legs into the stirrups. Savannah is seated next to me. She laces her fingers in mine and gives a slight squeeze as Dr. Staton snaps hot pink gloves over her hands. “Take a deep breath and think about the beach. Always did the trick for me.” Savannah whispers.
“Okay Carly, you are gonna feel cool steel, then you will feel your vagina stretching as I open the speculum to dilate your cervix. Just take a deep, calming breath.” Pinching my eyes shut, I pierce my teeth through the corner of my lip until I can taste the metallic that seeps through the small cut. I fill my mind with the swooshing sound of the ocean waves crashing against the shore.
“Sis, it?
??s over.” Savannah says, tapping my shoulder. I spring my eyes open wide, taking Kaylee’s hand as she helps me to sit up.
“Okay, now that that is done, it looks from your last menstrual cycle that you are just over seven weeks pregnant. Your expected due date is September 6th. Kaylee is gonna draw some blood. You’ll need to take these pre-natal vitamins daily and drink plenty of water. We will see you back here in 2 weeks for a follow up, where we’ll do a trans-vaginal ultrasound. Do you have any questions, Carly?” She says turning to enter notes into my file on her laptop.
“Actually, yes. I’m concerned about the paternity of the baby. Are there any tests that can be done to determine the paternity prior to birth that aren’t intrusive to the baby or myself?” Dr. Staton turns to face me, lacing her fingers together.
“I see. There are a few tests, but only one I would recommend. There is a Pre-natal Paternity DNA test. It’s quite simple, really. We collect a blood sample from you and the possible fathers, then compare the DNA. However, the test isn’t conclusive until 14 weeks gestation. If that is something you need to consider, we can discuss it at your next appointment after you’ve talked to these men.”
“Thank you Dr. Staton, you’ve been very helpful.” She shakes my hand and leaves the room with Kaylee and Savannah, leaving me to get dressed. When Kaylee returns, she has a container filled with alcohol pads, vials, needles of various sizes, tape and band aids. Placing the tourniquet around my arm, she tightens it with a quick snap as the rubber slaps my flesh.
“You ain’t gonna get woozy on me over a little blood, are ya girl?” Kaylee asks in amusement. I’m sure my pale skin and labored breathing has only given me away to my fear of needles. “Deep breath.” She says as she slides the butterfly needle into my vein then connecting the vial. I pierce my eyes shut, not wanting to see any sight of blood. I can feel the blood drain from my body, and I sway as my head begins to feel light and airy. Savannah wraps her arms around my shoulders, holding me upright, as Kaylee finishes up. “There, all done; and you managed to stay with us the whole time.” She jokes. My eyes flutter open and I sigh in relief that she has already bagged the vials of blood, out of my sight. “You got a little flushed there, Carly. How ya been handling the morning sickness?”
“Eh, it’s been brutal to be honest.”
“It’s common in the first trimester, and every woman has a different experience with morning sickness. Be sure to stay hydrated with water, eat small snacks throughout the day to curb hunger and to keep your stomach satisfied. If the nausea is too overwhelming, try to add some fresh ginger to hot tea, or maybe even some fresh fruit smoothies.”
“Thanks Kaylee, I’ll try that.” She sees me out to the front desk, where I make a follow up appointment. Overall, the appointment wasn’t as treacherous as I expected, but it was anything but pleasant.
Savannah and I stop for a quick lunch at a small café just down the block from the Medical Center. I slowly sip the broth of the chicken noodle soup from the spoon, letting the warmth spread through me. Good chicken noodle soup can warm you like a thick blanket, making everything feel right in the world, if only for a few minutes.
“So, I take it you haven’t told Colton about Luke yet, right?” She prods, wiping the corner of her mouth with the napkin. I cast my eyes down, stirring the noodles around and around in the bowl, letting the spoon clink against the side.
“I will. Just been trying to keep him at a distance like you suggested.”
“Has that been hard, seeing that you work with him?”
“Easier than I imagined since he found the bouquet of flowers Luke had sent to the office last week. I think he suspects something, but he’s staying quiet. We talk when we have to, work related only and leave it at that.” I shrug.
“You can’t bury this secret forever, Sis. I can see the burden you’re carrying from this. Your shoulders are slumped from the weight, and angst fills your eyes. You have to let the truth out.”
“I know, Savannah, but it’s easier said than done.”
“Ya know, Daddy raised us to always be honest. Regardless how bad the truth hurt.”