“Pawing at Your Door”
“Enough (Is Never Enough)”
“Stray”
“Darling, Darling, Darling”
“Little Houses”
2:49 a.m.
“THE BEST VIEW in Seattle,” Neil says as we get out of my car on the south side of Queen Anne Hill.
Kerry Park isn’t big, a narrow strip of grass with a fountain and a couple sculptures. The view of the Space Needle completely sneaks up on you. It looks unreal from here, huge and bright and glorious, especially at night. He’s right: it’s the best view in Seattle.
“This is where you went earlier?” I ask, and he nods.
I limp along with him to the edge of the lookout.
“I cannot believe you did that.” He gestures to my leg. “Are you sure you don’t need some ice or something?”
I shake my head. “Sacrifices had to be made.”
We position ourselves on the ledge, our legs dangling onto the grassy hill below. Again I’m struck by how normal this feels. He’s been part of my life for so long that there’s a comfort mixed with the newness, and I can’t wait to know him in all the ways we missed out on.
“When did you know?” I rest my head on his shoulder. “That you didn’t despise me.”
“It wasn’t one singular event,” he says, his arm settling around my waist. “Early junior year was when I started having feelings for you, but I figured it was pointless. You couldn’t stand me, and I seemingly couldn’t stand you.”
“You hid it so well.”
“I had to. If I suddenly acted differently, you’d get suspicious.”
“So you liked me even during that student council meeting that lasted until midnight, that White Man in Peril incident?”
“The what?”
“Oh—A White Man in Peril. It’s what I call your classics, since they’re all about, well—”
“White men in peril,” he finishes, laughing. “And yes. Yes I did. What about you?”
“Three hours ago?” I say, and with his free hand, he clutches his heart as if in pain. “Fifteen hours ago, when I saw your arms in that T-shirt?”
“God bless my rigorous workout routine.”
“Is that what you call those eight-pound weights on your desk?”
“I—um—I keep the bigger ones in my closet,” he says. “Really massive ones. Fifty, sixty pounds. I don’t want anyone to get too intimidated, you know.”
“That’s very thoughtful.” I snuggle closer. “If I’m being honest, though… I’m not sure. I realized it today, but I think I’ve liked you for a while.”
After a few moments of quiet, he asks, “Do you remember that election for freshman-class rep?”
“Of course. It was a landslide victory for me.”
“As I recall, you won by a pretty narrow margin.” He twirls a strand of my hair. “I won that essay contest, and you won the election. And then we kept at it, trying to one-up each other.”
“All these years, we were fighting when we could have been… not fighting.”