“Shane?” Her sweet voice rings out behind me at precisely the wrong moment. “What the hell are you doing here?”
Chapter Thirteen – Tia
What the fuck? My heart pounds and my head aches. This wasn’t what I was expecting to walk home to. The man that I’m trying to get past is here, standing in front of me. After all this time. What the actual fuck?
A minute ago I was Maria in the middle of an intense love scene, trying to shed all of myself away so I could commit to getting the last few scenes exactly right, now I’m here in the middle of my own life drama. This isn’t the hot bath and stress free night that I was looking forward to before another big day tomorrow.
“T… Tia?” he stammers, sounding more unsure than I have ever heard him before. “Tia, I…”
He looks like a deer stuck in head lights, like he doesn’t know why he’s here. This is so strange. I assumed after all this time, I wouldn’t ever have to see him again, certainly not like this.
“What’s going on, Shane?” I demand. “What are you doing here? Why do you look so freaked out?”
“I… I…” He darts his eyes everywhere as if he’s looking for something. “I need to talk to you.”
“About what?” This is weird, the sooner it’s over the better. This feels like a bit of a nightmare, like I’ve been placed in the middle of a situation that I don’t totally understand.
“About us. About you and me. I still think that we have a lot to say…”
Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
He doesn’t answer his phone, he stuffs it into his pocket and makes a giant point of ignoring it which only amps up my suspicion. There has to be a reason why he isn’t picking up and that doesn’t bode well. Either it’s another woman or one of his secrets that he doesn’t want me to know about.
His insistence on keeping his secrets is what tore us apart in the first place. He should know better. He shouldn’t even be bringing it up unless he’s just going to finally let it all out.
“If you don’t have the truth to tell me then I don’t want to hear more.”
I fold my arms across my chest and stare at him defiantly. I need my body language to remain strong so I at least look like I’m powerful and in control. I want Shane to know that he can’t run me down.
“I want to be honest with you… a little honest anyway. I can’t tell you everything.”
His phone rings again and I shake my head angrily. “That isn’t enough.”
“I know, I know.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I know it isn’t enough. I want to give you everything. Maybe you should let me come inside so I can tell you more. I would feel much better than standing out here.”
Something about his words puts me right on edge. I don’t like the idea of being alone with him while he’s in this mood, it makes me nervous so again I refuse. “No, you can talk to me out here.”
“I can’t. I really can’t talk to you out here.” He’s freaked out. It’s really strange. “It has to be inside.”
“I’m not comfortable with you coming inside. I would rather talk to you here.” His phone rings again and he gets a glazed over look to him. “Why don’t you just answer the phone first?”
“I… I can’t. I want to talk to you first. I need to talk to you. Please… just give me a chance.”
This is messed up. I already feel done here. There isn’t anything to say, is there? He doesn’t want to talk here outside and I don’t want to take him inside. We’re suffering a catch twenty-two and the only thing to do is walk away from one another. It might be hard, maybe we are oddly addicted to one another, but that feeling clearly isn’t enough. If it was then we would have found a way to make it work already.
“Shane, just go home. Keep away from me and I will do the same. That’s easier.”
“No!” He grabs my shoulder and pulls me to him, I slam against his body. “No, don’t leave me.”
Our eyes lock into one another and I see that spark that drew me to him in the first place. That fire, that intensity, that… I don’t know what it is. It doesn’t have words to explain it. My heart pounds, I can feel a fizzing in the pit of my stomach, like sparkling space dust. The chemistry circles around us in a bubble, fixing us in place. The urgency to leave has long gone, now I’m quite happy here in his arms. It feels right.
“Tia, please don’t leave me,” Shane begs me desperately. “I need to talk to you.”