“I want to call him. It’s already been eleven days.” I look down at my watch. “Seventeen hours and some odd minutes, but the apartment’s not the same without him cooking or hogging the shower, taking up the side of the bed that I don’t use, and I’m always cold. He was a really great heater at night.”
“So what you’re saying is that you miss him?”
Sometimes it’s just best to cut to the chase. “I miss him, Nat. Does that make me sad that me missing him is the biggest revelation I’ve had since he’s been gone?”
“I think it’s a good thing, and quite honestly, exactly what he wants you to realize.” She touches my belly. I never mind when she does. I even get to touch her belly that’s just recently popped out a little. She basically looks like she ate a hoagie for lunch.
We move off to the side of the restaurant doors where they hold the cooking class. She goes on, “The question seemed simple, but it’s really complex. If you weren’t pregnant, would you want to be with him?” Yes. One hundred times, yes.
“I was doing that already. I was living that life and want it back. I want him back.”
“Then you have your answer.”
“I guess I do.” We hug goodbye and head in separate directions. It’s tempting to want the perfect setting to make confessions of the heart, but I don’t want to waste any time. So I call him.
The trill of a female laughing fills the line, and I hold the phone away from my face to double-check that I didn’t misdial. Nope. Harrison Decker is at the top of the screen. The voice says, “Hello?”
“Sorry, I got the wrong number.”
I end the call and look around. Leaning against the jagged rock of the refined restaurant, I go numb.
Well, I guess that answers the other part of my question—does he want me to call him as Nat suggested? To ask him to come back to me . . . Or was that his get-out-of-jail-free card?
He said he’d always be there for me. For us. He said he loved me. He said I was his future.
But just like my parents, other things are far more tempting. Far more . . . worth staying elsewhere for. And I got a good idea what sort of women he’s gravitated to in the past. Women who literally threw themselves at him. How could I trust him to be alone out there when I saw how he was hounded?
Eventually, most men would give in. Even a man like Harrison, who I thought was one of the good ones. Turns out, he was quick to hang up on me, and it seems, quick to replace me.
I place a hand on my middle. I’ve been such a fool for thinking he wanted me to figure out the meaning of life and come running. It worked too, but no more. “It’s okay, baby. We have each other now. We don’t need anyone.”
I push off the building and get in a cab.
There will be no calls or texts, spending all day pining and the nights crying from his absence. Harrison Decker can go to hell for all I care.
If I mean that little to him . . . tears overflow the barriers of my lower lids, but I’m quick to wipe them away. I can’t believe I’m crying over a man.
Never again.
~ Harrison ~
“It’s so good to see you,” Cookie says, welcoming me in. She leads me to the kitchen where the smell of blueberry muffins causes my stomach to growl. “Help yourself.”
She pours a glass of milk, and it reminds me of stopping by after school to do homework and play video games with Nick.
“I wanted to get your advice.”
“On Tatum?”
“How’d you know?”
She shrugs and gazes out the window. When she turns back, she says, “I remember both of my sons being in a similar state over Juni and Natalie. “What do you want to know, Harrison? I’ll help you the best I can.”
“I’m not sure what happened. She lets her fear of getting hurt protect her from ever receiving love.”
Nodding, she then takes a sip of iced tea. She doesn’t rush her response, taking her time to mull it over. “That is a tough one. She’s hard on herself, and to protect her heart, she builds walls around it. How close am I?”
“Very.”
She grins.
“How do I get through to her that I won’t hurt her?” I ask.
“You don’t, silly. No one makes that promise to everyone and can keep it. The problem lies in the woman herself. Tatum made that promise to herself. The key is to get her to unlock a door and let you in.”
“You’re probably right.” I eat a muffin because how do I not when they look and smell amazing.