It Was Only a Kiss

Luke narrowed his eyes at her. ‘Don’t do it again.’

Oh, well, this wasn’t the way she’d thought this evening was going to go. Jess sent him an uncertain look before realising that she still had the envelope in her hands. ‘Listen, I have news!’

Luke lifted his eyebrows. ‘You look like you’ve had an interesting day.’

‘I’ve had a great day,’ Jess said as they walked into the lounge. ‘I spent the day with Sbu. We finished the edit on the last advert.’

Luke frowned. ‘What advert? I thought there wasn’t anything you could use from the last shoot.’

‘There wasn’t, but I came up with something else.’ Jess pulled the disc from inside the newspaper and waved it. ‘Do you want to see it?’

Luke shrugged. ‘Sure. What’s in the envelope?’

Jess looked over at Owen and Kelly and thought that it wasn’t something she wanted to discuss with an audience.

‘I’ll tell you later.’ Jess walked over to the DVD player and inserted the disc. Flipping on the plasma screen, Jess walked back to stand next to Luke. ‘I think you’ll like this.’

* * *

He loved it.

He hated it.

He looked happy, he thought, jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and he had been. It had been one of the nicest, most relaxed afternoons he could ever remember. The entire weekend had been a revelation; he’d laughed and kicked back, swallowed up by the warmth of the Sherwood clan. He wished that he could bank on the fact that there would be more of that type of family weekend, but that brought him back to the issue of permanence and commitment.

He’d noticed Jess and Clem filming that afternoon and into the evening, had thought it was just a video for the family archives. Jess had turned the footage into something special: gorgeous people in a gorgeous setting. It was an inspired move, Luke thought.

On film, Jess had captured all his hopes and dreams. There was John’s son, Kelby, filthy dirty from digging up worms in an empty flowerbed, and Clem, lying back on her elbows, relaxed and gorgeous in the late-afternoon sun. Him and her brothers, sitting on the lawn, trading insults and getting to know each other.

Then the last frames of the film appeared on screen. Someone had picked up the video camera and filmed Jess walking towards him on the lawn, wrapping her arms around his neck and boosting herself up his body to laugh down into his face. Love and delight radiated from her. Everything she felt about him was written on her face. She was in love with him.

He didn’t need her to tell him. It was there on the screen in front of him. Luke held his throat as he felt it tighten. He hadn’t wanted this—hadn’t asked for it. He didn’t know what to do with this knowledge, her love, where to put it, how to act.

‘So, what do you think?’

Luke eventually realised that Jess was talking to him and couldn’t find the words he wanted to say. He didn’t know what he wanted to say.

‘Luke, do you like it?’ Jess asked again, and he heard her insecure laugh. ‘I kind of need an answer or else we go back to square one.’

‘I think it’s wonderful,’ Kelly said with a quaver in her voice.

‘Superb, Jess,’ Owen agreed.

Luke licked his lips and looked from Jess to the TV screen and back again. ‘I’ll think about it. I’ve got to go.’

Luke hurried out of the room and pounded up the stairs to his room. Dragging off his damp jersey—he hadn’t had time to change between Jess’s arrival and getting Kelly sorted out with dry clothes—he shucked his wet boots and jeans and changed into a pair of track pants and a sweatshirt.

Warmer, he sat down on his bed and looked at his hands. He had to decide what he was going to do about Jess. The campaign was complete and she needed to get back to Sandton—to her business, her family, her life. Leaving him alone at St Sylve.

He didn’t think he could bear it. He didn’t want to be alone, but how could he ask her to stay? He wanted her at St Sylve, wanted to see her face first thing in the morning and last thing at night. But he had no right to ask her to give up her life, her business, her home, when he wasn’t prepared to take their relationship any further.

He was terrified of marriage. It felt as if a noose was tightening around his neck every time he even considered the concept. Jess couldn’t—shouldn’t—give up her life for anything less than a solid, watertight commitment.

Six weeks ago he’d had a peaceful life: a mutually satisfying sexual relationship with a nice woman, good friends for company, work to keep him busy. A normal, busy life without a complicated woman in his bed—in his head. He’d come to terms with his childhood, made peace with his failed marriage, put his relationship with his father into perspective.