It Was Only a Kiss

Then Jess had skidded back into his life and spun it upside down.

Sex was no longer just about sex. He’d lost his family but he’d been slapped in the face with hers. He was about to have his longest dream aired on national TV. And she was in love with him. He hadn’t asked for this—any of it. Why did he have to deal with all this? It was...overwhelming, distracting, too damn much!

He felt as if he’d fallen into a vortex of information and was being sucked down...sucked dry.

‘Luke?’

Luke looked up and saw Jess in the doorway, her hand resting on the doorframe. God, what now? Could he not just have five damned minutes on his own?

‘Can I come in?’

It irritated him that she felt the need to ask. This had been as much her room as his over the past week. He nodded and she walked over to him, that yellow envelope still in her hand. She sat down next to him and he could see the shimmer of raindrops in her hair.

‘I’m sorry you didn’t like the advert.’

Honesty forced him to answer truthfully. ‘I loved the advert. It was just a...surprise.’

Jess shoved a shaky hand into her hair and tapped the envelope on her knee. ‘I brought you a present. I hope you like it.’

Luke took the envelope off her lap, lifted the flap and pulled out a wad of papers. Placing them on the bed next to him, he flipped through the documents and quickly realised that the papers related to his mother and his childhood. His past... Jess had been delving into it. A core-deep slow burn started in his stomach and an icy hand clutched his heart. She had no right to interfere.

That’s not true. He heard the small voice in the back of his head. You’re angry and miserable and maybe looking for a fight. Looking for an excuse to push her out of your head. In the space of an hour she’s pushed every button you have...

‘Your mother didn’t leave you. She was coming back for you—’

‘Shut up!’

Luke jumped to his feet and looked down at her with furious eyes. Forget maybe—he definitely wanted a fight. He knew what buttons to push too. ‘You really do have a habit of thinking that you know it all, Jess.’

The colour leached from Jess’s face and she stared back at him, her eyes enormous in her face. She looked at the papers on the bed, sucked in a breath and tried for a normal voice. ‘You don’t understand! Luke, it’s not what you think. It’s good news!’

‘I don’t care! What did I say when you suggested that I contact my aunt?’

‘That you didn’t want to do it,’ Jess replied in a small voice.

‘What part of that sentence didn’t you understand? How dare you take the decision to investigate my past out of my hands? If I wanted to know I am quite capable of finding out myself!’

‘I’m sorry. I thought I was doing a nice thing!’ Jess protested. ‘I thought you needed to know—that I was helping.’

‘You know, the first time I met you I thought you were an arrogant, snotty witch. Essentially, nothing has changed.’

When shocked hurt ran across her face he knew he had scored a direct hit, but she recovered quickly.

‘That wasn’t what you were thinking every time you took me to bed.’

‘Hey, your body was on offer. I’m a man. I just took what was available.’

‘That’s an awful thing to say.’

It was, but he didn’t care. Somewhere in a place that was beyond his temper and his anger and his fear, Luke realised that he was hurting her—that every word that dropped from his lips was like acid hitting her soul. He didn’t mean it, but he was bone-deep terrified of the implications contained in that envelope—knew that they would change his perceptions about the past, change him. He didn’t want to deal with any of it. Not with Jess’s love, with the anger he felt that his mother had died, leaving him with his monster father, with knowing how much he’d needed her in his life. He just wanted to lash out...to put all this turbulent emotion somewhere else...on someone else.

Jess had a massive target on her forehead. It wasn’t noble, and it wasn’t nice, but she was somewhere to put this burning, churning rage that had his heart, stomach and throat in an unbreakable grip.

Jess wrapped her arms around her middle. Fine tremors passed through her body—a combination of cold and emotion. She felt annihilated and utterly lost... Who was this man who was doing his best to hurt her? This wasn’t the Luke she’d thought she knew, the man she’d come to love. He was cold, hard, ugly.

‘Why are you doing this?’

‘Doing what? Being honest?’