I decide not to change the pronunciations to match those of the island clans. In this, I will continue to be Outcast, at least.
The dark-maned female gets to her feet, and I see she is pregnant, her rounded belly evident under the furs. She dusts her hands off and smiles at her Strong Arm mate, then presses her mouth to his cheek. "I'm going to finish packing. Can you ladle food for everyone?"
He touches her belly and murmurs a word to her, then gets to work handing out food. Once everyone close to the fire has a bowl, he looks around and spots me, hanging back. With a wave of his hand, he beckons me forward.
I eye the Strong Arm male warily, but all he does is spoon some of the food into a bowl and holds it out to me.
I take it from him and lift it to my lips. It tastes like good, salty meat and some other things I have not had before. Herbs float on top, and the taste is strong but not unpleasant. I clutch my bowl tightly and move back, watching the cave for my mate and my son. I want to wake them up so they can eat before it is all gone, but I know that is my Outcast instinct talking. I know no one would let Steff go hungry. No one would let a kit go hungry. If they run out of food, they would make more.
When my bowl is empty, I hold it up to my mouth and lick it. As I do, I can feel someone stand behind me. Thinking it is Ashtar, I turn—
And stop.
O'jek, of Shadow Cat, stands nearby. He wears a pack on his back, a pair of soft leather leggings, and a fur cloak. He carries a spear and has a hard look on his face.
I know this male, all too well. "What do you want?"
He studies me, and his expression remains cold. "I wished to look upon my mother's son."
His mother's son. Not his brother. He lays no claim to me. I lick my bowl again and try my best not to glare at him. I want to fling this bowl into his face out of sheer hatred, but I will not waste whatever scrap of food is left. I despise O'jek. He is the good son, the perfect son. The son they kept. The son that did not have the wrong tail, or the wrong horns. The son that carries all the markers of Shadow Cat clan proudly.
Me, they threw away. I have always known there was another son. That he is but a few turns of the seasons younger than me. How they must have rejoiced when he came out of the womb perfect, I think bitterly. Unlike me. "And what do you think of your mother's son?"
"I do not know what I think," he says carefully. "But I wished to look at you before I left, in case you are not here when I return."
My jaw clenches and I focus on my bowl. Is that a threat? Is he hinting that I should leave? That I do not belong? "Look your fill and then leave me alone," I tell him. "My family will be up soon. My mate and my son will want their food."
I turn my back to him, and when I finally look in his direction once more, he is gone.
Good.
19
STEPH
A few hours after all the goodbyes are said, everyone is gathered around the fire. No one is hunting for the day, or fishing. I think we're all a bit shell-shocked, because it's so very quiet on the beach. Only the children seem excited. They're having a good time playing a game in the cave with some colored bone bits and a decorated skin.
Well, only the children and Devi, who wanders up and down the beach all day with N'dek, her mate. It's like these creatures invading are a gift that keeps on giving, in her eyes, and she can't wait for more. The rest of us aren't nearly as delighted. I can't help but look around at the beach and compare it to how it was before. Unnatural hills dotted with tentacles are everywhere, so tall they practically block out the sight of the ocean in the distance and make me feel slightly claustrophobic. I'm used to the sight of wide open beaches stretching as far as the eye can see. Now, it feels as if we're penned into one blind canyon close to the caves, where the creatures are too big to wander through.
Juth is quiet, too, which doesn't help my mood. He came to get me this morning, carrying me out so I could say my goodbyes to everyone as they headed up the path into the mountains. Part of me really wants to go with them, because I'd love to meet new people and see what the other encampment is like. Liz has told us before that the huts there have a rudimentary plumbing system, and I have to admit, that sounds pretty freaking great to me. But I don't think Juth and Pak could handle it, and of course, there's my ankle.