“I guess.” He doesn’t sound convinced, but he also doesn’t seem as angry. “Mom’s still passed out, by the way.”
“I appreciate you babysitting her.”
He gives me a nod and starts up the stairs. Halfway up, he stops and turns back. “You know that’s fucked up, right? That I’m the teen and she’s my mom. It should be the other way around. I should be getting loaded and coming home bombed out of my mind and she should be sitting outside my door making sure I don’t sneak out again.”
“I know, Tuck. I know.”
“Yeah, I guess you do.” I wait for his door to shut before banging my head against the freezer compartment. Before escaping to my own room, I check on Mom. The water is gone and so are the pills. Her dress is on the floor, and a different blanket is draped over her frame. At some point she got up, took the aspirin, undressed, and returned to bed. Tuck didn’t notice because the television was probably too loud, but he was close to the door, and she didn’t leave, so I’m not mad.
This is all a good reminder that no matter how fast my heart beats at the sight of some girl or how hard my dick grows when she’s within touching distance, it’s not something I can do anything about. Like an ache in my shoulder in the seventh inning on my one hundredth pitch, I just need to ignore these physical sensations and power through.
Telling myself this and doing it are two different things because the second my head hits the pillow and my eyes are closed, GG appears, but she’s not in her dress and little sweater, but a G-string and pasties. She’s swinging her white-blond hair around and climbing onto my lap. Her hot pussy lands on my dick because somehow I’m not wearing clothes at this striptease. One of her breasts is level with my mouth, and I can’t stop myself from latching on. She tosses back her head, arching her tit deeper into my mouth. Her wet pussy slides over my shaft, rubbing back and forth, teasing the cockhead. Each time she makes a pass, my cock slips inside her tight hole. I bite down on my lip until I can taste the copper of my own blood. I’m dying.
I grip my meat and start to jerk, rough and hard, imagining that it’s her hand and not mine. I switch to her other tit and take long, deep draws. Her fingers dig into my shoulders. I lift her ass with both hands and slam her down on my dick until I’m coming, white threads of spunk streaming over my hand, hitting my belly. I gasp and sink down into the mattress, feeling almost zero satisfaction. I haven’t done this in a long time. Usually I can will these urges away. My self-control is what sets me apart, and now it seems like I have none.
I hate this.
Chapter Ten
Georgia
I chew on my bottom lip as I try to give myself a pep talk to go into the lunchroom. Today has been really strange. Last week I felt as if I blended into the background and no one really noticed me. This week it seems as if everyone is actively avoiding me. I’m pretty sure Tricia is doing the same. Things between us haven’t been the same since the night of the party.
I thought we were fine after we talked on the phone Friday night. I’m not sure what changed. She hasn’t responded to any of my texts since then. Grams tried to reassure me that things were fine, saying that Tricia could have been grounded from her phone or maybe even broken it.
I hate this feeling of uncertainty in the pit of my stomach. Tricia has been my only friend, and I really like her. She gave me a small sense of belonging. That maybe I could fit into this world. Every time I try to grasp on to the hope of having a normal life, it slips right through my fingers. Even with very few words exchanged between Colt and me, he could tell that I didn’t belong.
“Hey, new girl.” I turn to see a tall boy coming towards me with shaggy blond hair. “About time I ran into the girl everyone is talking about. I’m Dean.” He holds his hand out for me to take.
“GG,” I say, trying to digest his words. I was right. It was a figment of my imagination that things had changed around here. People are talking about me. I don’t understand why. Panic hits me at the thought that maybe everyone has found out about my past. Just the thought makes me feel sick to my stomach.
“Dean, you dumb fuck.” Another boy comes strolling up as I pull my hand out of Dean’s. I step back when he smacks him right in the back of the head. “Stop starting shit and go get your lunch.”