Grams gives me the same warm smile she always has on her face. Even when I can see the sadness in her eyes, she is always smiling.
“It will take you no time at all to learn to use it. You’re a smart girl.” So they keep telling me.
I got tested a few months back so they would know where to place me in school. I’d tested way above high school, but still only being seventeen, Grams and Grandpa thought it was best that I do a little time in a real school with other kids my age. I think they meant normal kids, but they don’t say that. It wouldn’t hurt my feelings. It’s the truth.
“I packed you lunch, honey.” Grandpa brings over a purple bag, setting it down next to me. “Unless you want money for the cafeteria,” he offers.
“This is fine. Thank you. That was very sweet of you.”
“Always so polite,” he says. From his tone I can’t tell if that is a good or bad thing. “Here, just in case you need it. You should always have a little money on you.” He pulls out his wallet, handing me a few twenties.
“That’s too much.” I try to hand it back.
“Just put it in your bag. No one said you have to use it, but if you need it for some reason, you’ll have it.” He puts his wallet back in his pocket. I relent, stuffing the money into my bag.
“You got everything you need? I’m going to drop you off today.” I look through my bag for the millionth time to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything.
“Am I allowed to have my Kindle at school?” My Kindle is hands-down the best gift I’ve ever gotten in my life. Grams gave it to me. It has thousands of books all at your fingertips.
“I’m sure. You’ll have some down time at some point during the day.”
“Okay.” I hop from my chair and head back to my bedroom.
I quickly grab the Kindle off of my bed, not wanting to be late. I pause when I catch myself in the mirror. The three faded white lines on my back are showing. They are a reminder of the life my grandparents saved me from. Suddenly, I feel self-conscious. I grab my white fuzzy jacket off the back of the chair and slip it on over my dress to hide the marks.
“I’ll be in the car,” I hear Grams yell down the hallway. The sound of her voice pushes away any bad thoughts.
Today is a new start. I can be anyone I want, but all I dream about is being normal.
Chapter Three
Colt
I can hear the drill-like chants of the track team as they run outside of the weight room.
“We should have an outdoor weight room.” Logan stares out the window. It must be the girls’ track team. He has a thing for one of the juniors. Renoir is her name. Like the painter. She runs cross country and has been dating another runner since junior high. Logan always gets that despondent, dreamy expression on his face whenever she’s near. One time they were conditioning near the baseball field and Logan missed a catch at home plate. No one scored and we won the game, but Coach tore him a new asshole and benched him for three games. Logan was sorry, but he still can’t move on. He’s never going to make it to the Bigs with that attitude, but it’s not my problem.
“Put another ten on,” I say.
Logan jerks his attention back to me. “You sure?”
“Yeah. I need to get stronger.”
“Too much muscle and you’re going to affect your pitching.”
“I’m only going to do a few reps. Want to test myself.”
Without any more objections, Logan slips on the weights. I do twelve reps and then stop when I feel my arms shaking. “You want a turn?” I climb off the bench.
“Nah, I’m good.” He’s still staring out the window.
“Why don’t you just ask her out?”
He visibly shakes himself. “She’s with Matthews, and I’m not that type of guy.”
I swallow back a sigh of frustration. Logan’s going to be distracted this whole season, but fuck, it’s our last one, so I guess it doesn’t matter. I slap him on the back. “Your funeral.”
The weight room doors slam open, and Tommy rushes in. “Party tonight!” he hollers.
I ignore him and walk toward the locker room. Tommy follows, practically bouncing. “Dude, did you not hear me?”
I grab my towel. “Yeah, I heard you, but I don’t know what that has to do with me.”
“Nothing. I know you’re a saint, but we’re interested, aren’t we boys?” The rest of the locker room sans Logan nods. Tommy turns back to me. “You’re coming, aren’t you?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” I reply dryly. Parties aren’t my thing either, but I go because we’re a team, and doing things together helps with team unity. I can’t totally close myself off from these guys. A thought occurs to me, and I stop Tommy before he can run off to someone else. “Invite some people from a different school. Maybe South?”