“Even if it could save your life?”
“Goddammit, Mo. You think I haven’t considered what the doctors said? It’s all I think about. I’m aware of the risks, and I’m choosing to get back on the bull because it’s what I love to do. My doctor cleared me because my shoulder is as good as it’s going to get. It may never get back to full capacity, and that’s something I’ll have to live with, but it has to be my decision, Mo. I know where you stand. I know where my parents stand and where my doctors stand, and when the time comes for me to make a change, I’ll involve you in that decision. But that time isn’t now, and I need you to trust me.” He sighs, shaking his head. “I need you to support me.”
“I do support you.” I take a step forward. “But you’re making it hard. How am I supposed to watch you go back to work when it might be too soon?”
“The doctors cleared me.”
“For your shoulder…”
Rhett tosses his arms out to the side. “I don’t know what you want from me, Monroe. This is my life. You either want to be part of it or you don’t.”
“Of course I want to be part of it—I am part of it—but I don’t want to watch you kill yourself or ruin your chances to continue the career you love.”
The air grows thick with tension. Our feet are rooted to the floor, neither one of us willing to make the first move. I hate that we can’t seem to find solid ground. I also hate the way he’s looking at me.
“I need to drive my truck back to Heaven,” he says, still not moving. “I have to be back here tomorrow. So I’ll follow you. It’ll give each of us some time to think about what we want.”
“Shit, Rhett. Didn’t you say we don’t walk away mad?”
He shakes his head. “I’m not mad, Mo.”
I hate the idea of us being apart from each other right now, but maybe he’s right. We’ve been together nonstop almost since he came home. Maybe we need some time to step back and evaluate things. Except I don’t need to re-evaluate or think.
“I don’t need to think. I already know what I want. I want you.”
“I need you to be sure, Mo. Because I can’t live with you breathing down my neck about what I do for a living. And you can’t live your life angry at me for doing it.”
He finally closes the distance between us. “Maybe you should take some time to consider what you want for yourself, too. If your dad moves in with Sharon, you’ll have an opportunity to chase your own dreams, Mo, and I want that for you. I want to be
part of your dream, whatever it is.” His lips, warm and soft, kiss my cheek. “I’ll follow you to Heaven.”
We gather our things, and he holds the front door open for me, locking it after I walk out. I climb into my truck. He whistles for the dogs, who jump in with him, and we all pull out and head toward the highway.
I meant what I said—I don’t want Rhett to give up what he loves. I might prefer that he not get back on the bull or chance it on bonus rides with his history of injuries, but I would never ask him to walk away before he’s ready.
The irony of the situation isn’t lost on me, though, because I walked away from what I loved. I walked away from Rhett and my chance to be a vet. And he didn’t have a say in any of that. Yet here I am, asking for a voice in his future.
We’ve been back together just a short time, and already he consumes me. He’s all I think about, all I dream about, but he’s right—what about me? What do I want? I have to exist outside of Rhett and my father. I just hope that whatever I choose to do—even if it turns out not to be convenient or moves us farther away from each other—Rhett will support me.
But I already know he will.
I glance in my rearview mirror.
He’s right behind me, the strong, supportive presence I’ve always known him to be, and now it’s my turn to step up.
This time I’ll be who he’s told me he needs me to be, not anyone else.
Rhett
The ride back to Heaven is too quiet. The dogs are asleep in the backseat, and Mo is a few hundred feet in front of me—though it feels like she’s a thousand miles away. This is the part of the job I hate—the part I’ve always dreaded. I’ve seen my friends go through it with their ladies. Some relationships have made it through; others weren’t so lucky.
It killed me to tell Mo I was going back now whether she likes it or not, but I have to. Not going back isn’t an option. And the longer I wait, the harder it will be to get back on a bull again. Despite what Mo and the doctors think, I have listened. Every warning is branded into my head, but I can’t walk away after an injury—I can’t let a bull decide the fate of my career. Getting back in the arena is something I have to do for myself, to prove I can overcome this, that I can still have this career. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I stop now.
Now Lucifer, he’s a different story. Accepting that bonus ride was purely selfish. They doubled the offer—making it something they knew I wouldn’t turn down—but this time it’s about more than the money. It’s a chance at a rematch, a chance to prove I can conquer that bull. And I will conquer him. This time I won’t walk away injured. I’ll walk away with a hundred thousand dollars in my pocket.
That’s enough to buy Mo the ring she deserves and have plenty left over for a honeymoon—that is, if she chooses to stay with me. And I really need to her to choose me. I need her to choose us.
But before she can do that, I think she has to choose herself. Her life hasn’t been easy, and for the first time in a long time, she has the opportunity to make choices about a future she thought she’d lost. She just has to be brave enough to do it. And I will support her and make sure she follows her heart wherever it leads, even if that’s away from me.