“Shit, Mo, I—”
“Seeing you with Nikki was awful, but it was my fault. I’m the one who pushed you toward her, so please don’t apologize. If I hadn’t lied to you, I know you wouldn’t have slept with her.”
“I don’t even know what to say. This is all so screwed up.”
“That’s the whole story. I needed you to know I’d planned on making it right.”
Lips pressed together, he nods. “I’m really sorry you saw that. I’m still processing how you got to the point where you thought you were protecting me by pushing me away. I’m trying to get there, Mo. And I’m relieved you didn’t cheat on me, but you still destroyed us, destroyed me, and I don’t know how to get past that.”
“What would you have done if you’d found out I had to sell dad’s business and quit school so I could take care of him?”
“I would’ve come back.”
“Exactly.” I stand up and take a s
tep toward him. “You would’ve dropped everything to come back and help me.”
“Of course I would’ve, Monroe, because that’s what people do for those they love. They don’t push them away or create irreparable damage, they support them and love them, even if it costs them something in return.”
I flinch at his words but refuse to let them tear me down. Look at him now—all he’s achieved. Of course I did the right thing. “And what would you have done? Gone to work at your dad’s ranch?”
“I would’ve made an honest living—”
“You know as well as I do that you wouldn’t have been happy here,” I argue. “Your life is out there, riding bulls and chasing the buckle.”
“My life was you, Mo. That dream I was chasing was supposed to have you in it.” His breaths come out in harsh pants, as though he just ran a mile, which is pretty much how I feel.
Several seconds pass as we stare at each other, neither one of us making a move, and I know this might be my last chance to lay it all on the line.
“Rhett.” I reach for his hand, and he doesn’t pull away. I lace our fingers together. “I’m still in love with you. A lot has changed over the years, but my love for you has remained constant and steady. However you feel about me now, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I would never do anything to hurt you again.”
Curling his fingers around mine, Rhett tugs me forward until my body is pressed against his. I can feel his heart beating against my chest. The soft patter of rain pings against the gutters. There’s a gust of wind and a couple of raindrops hit my face.
Rhett lifts his finger, wipes them away, and leans his forehead against mine.
“I want to believe you, but I’m not sure I’m there yet.”
I nod, laying my head on his shoulder. I take a deep breath, inhaling his warm, spicy scent, trying to catalogue everything about him that I can.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get there, Mo.”
Swallowing, I shift and kiss his cheek. He sighs, moving his face a millimeter to the left. I press my lips to the corner of his mouth. His warm breath fans the side of my face, and I pull back before I push him too far.
His hand curls around the back of my neck, and he brings my mouth to his for a gentle kiss. There’s nothing passionate about it, and all too soon he opens his eyes and steps back.
“I’m sorry, Mo.”
I lay my finger against his lips. “You have nothing to be sorry for. This is on me, and I’ll just have to live with it.”
A tiny sliver of my heart had hoped he’d grant me forgiveness—and if I was real lucky, another shot at his heart. Disappointment races through me. Walking away from Rhett after coming clean feels even more final than hanging up after telling a lie.
Hands shaking, stomach twisted, I take step after step toward my truck. A crack of lightning streaks through the sky, followed by a roll of thunder. Rain drips from my hair, seeping through my clothes and shoes, and I have to fight the urge to look back at Rhett. I can’t. If I do, I’ll drop to my knees and beg for any crumble of love he can salvage for me, and we both deserve much more than that.
This is it. We’re finally done.
Rhett
I should think about this more, sleep on it for a few nights, try to determine the next step. But I’m damn tired of thinking, and each step she takes causes a sharp pain along the left side of my chest, leaving me feeling like I just screwed up the best thing that ever happened to me.