A Lover's Lament

br /> “Dinner sounds good,” he mumbles, dropping his glove to the side and reaching into the shoebox I just opened. His hand latches on to some pictures and he flips through them one by one, his smile growing bigger each time he moves to the next.

Leaning forward, I peek at the photos. “Oh my God. Give me that!” Pulling the top one out of his hand, I look down at the photo and I’m instantly taken on a trip down memory lane. “What the hell was I thinking?” No really, what the hell was I thinking? I know it was the 90’s and all, but my bangs couldn’t get higher if I tried, and was I seriously wearing layered neon socks?

“You looked hot.”

“If by hot you mean I looked like a flashing neon sign that screamed ‘look at me, I love New Kids On The Block,’ then yes, I looked hot.”

Devin chuckles and tosses a picture at me. “Remember that?” Picking up the worn photo, I’m instantly brought to tears. It’s the two of us—Devin and me—and he’s sitting on one of Daddy’s four wheelers. I’m sitting behind him, arms wrapped around his stomach. We’re both covered in mud and laughing. We were fifteen years old, and it’s a moment in time that I’ll never forget.

The day this picture was taken was the day Devin told me he loved me for the first time. At the time, it was just the love of two friends, but his words meant the world to me nonetheless.

“Do you remember what happened,” I ask, “right before Daddy snapped this?” My eyes drift upward and Devin is watching me, smiling.

“Of course I do. And do you remember what else we did that day?”

A grin plays at the corner of my mouth. How could I forget? “It’s still there,” I say, letting the memory wash over me.

“Were things better with your mom this morning?” I ask, tossing a rock into the creek.

Devin shrugs, his eyes trained on some unknown object off in the distance. I imagine that the fight with his mom last night must still be weighing heavily on his mind.

“We can talk about it some more if you want.”

“Nah, I’m all talked out, and you’ve listened to enough of my bitchin’.”

If he only knew how much I loved being the one he comes to. It’s a good thing he doesn’t, because it might scare him off. But it’s true. I want to be the one he comes to when he’s having a bad day and when something exciting happens. Unfortunately, the latter doesn’t occur very often.

“Thank you,” he whispers, glancing in my direction.

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“I want to.” He sighs, running a hand over his face. “You’re here for me when I need you, and I don’t want you to think I take that lightly.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think that. You’re my best friend, Dev, and I love you.”

“I love you too, Katie.” His voice is soft, and as he says the words, a crimson flush creeps up his neck. My entire body freezes, and I’m completely unable to do anything but stare at him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

I don’t respond because I’m still in shock.

He loves me …

“Say something, Kit Kat.”

I blink several times before I’m able to form words. “I know,” I say.

I love the way his eyes widen. “You know?”

“Yes,” I say, chuckling. “I know you love me. I-I just didn’t think you’d ever actually say it.”

“Well,” he says, nudging my shoulder with his. “Now I’ve said it.”

“Now you have.” I nod, looking away with a smirk.

I just wish that he loved me the way I love him.

“Want to make it permanent?” he asks. Jumping to his feet, he holds out a hand. I look at the offering for only a second before slipping my hand in his. He tugs me to my feet and I brush off my butt.