A Lover's Lament

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“The tree,” he says, gesturing toward the old oak sitting a few feet from the bank.

“What about it?” I ask, following him when he walks toward it.

“Let’s carve our names into the tree.”

My lips pinch together and brows scrunch as I look at the other sets of initials carved into the bark. Both my grandparents and my parents’ initials are there, and something about carving ours doesn’t seem right.

“But we aren’t married,” I say. “You aren’t even my boyfriend.”

Devin laughs and pulls a pocketknife from his jeans. “It doesn’t matter,” he says, shaking his head. “You and me, we’re forever. It doesn’t matter if we’re married or not. You’re my best friend, Katie. You could grow up and marry some rich fucker like Wyatt and I could marry some spoiled brat like Marybeth, but it wouldn’t change how I feel about you. You’re always going to be a part of me, and nothing in the world is gonna change that.”

His words do two things. First, they make my heart melt. Second, they make carving our initials in the bark sound much more appealing. Which is a good thing because, without giving me a chance to respond, Devin shoves the tip of his knife into the tree and carves our initials.

D.C. + K.D. = FOREVER

“Katie?” Devin nudges my leg and I look up.

“Huh?”

“You left me for a second there,” he says, his brows dipped low. “Are you okay?”

I smile, but it isn’t a beaming smile. It’s a gentle one that says just how much I adore him. “Yeah. I’m great.” And for the first time in months, I mean it. I am great, and it’s thanks to this beautiful man.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he says, a nervous look on his face.

“Well, that’s because I zoned out and didn’t hear it. Repeat, please.”

Devin’s shoulders rise and fall on a deep breath and he rubs his hands along his jeans. “Is Wyatt’s name carved on the tree?” His eyes dart away as though he can’t watch me give him the answer, so I scoot closer until our knees are touching.

Screw it. Crawling into his lap, I drape my legs on either side of his hips. Devin looks up, gorgeous green eyes as wide as they can be, as my mouth descends on his.

“No.” I brush my lips over his, nipping the bottom one playfully before dipping my tongue into his mouth. He opens willingly, and the kiss goes from zero to sixty in less than second. Then a little voice in the back of my head—a really freaking annoying one—starts screaming that now is the perfect time for the conversation we still need to have.

Reluctantly, I pull back. Devin’s eyes are hooded, his lids bobbing several times before his eyes seem to refocus on me.

“His name isn’t on the tree because he isn’t my forever.” Fisting my hands in the front of his shirt, I tug him forward until we’re nose to nose, our breath mingling. “You are my forever, Devin. And as much as I hated to admit it after you left, I knew that I’d never carve another man’s initials into that tree.”

Devin’s answering smile is completely blinding, and I can’t help but wonder how many times he was able to drop a set of panties just by flashing that bad boy at some unassuming woman. I cringe at the thought, and then make a mental note to ask about any ex-girlfriends.

Strong, warm hands settle on my hips. “Tell me about him … about what happened after I left.” His face looks pained as he says the words and I know that this is the part he’s dreading, so I decide right here and now to make it as painless— but truthful—as I can.

“There isn’t much to tell,” I say with a shrug. “You left and my heart was shattered. I was a walking zombie through my entire senior year, looking for you everywhere I went, convinced that one day you’d show up again. Every time the phone rang, I nearly jumped out of my skin, and I drove past your house so many times that I think the people who moved in thought I was stalking them.”

Devin gets a chagrined look on his face, and his eyes dart to the side before finding mine again. I wrap my arms around his neck and draw circles with my fingers at the bottom of his hairline.

“Anyway, I finally realized you weren’t coming back and I did the only thing I could do … I moved on.” Devin’s hands fist at my hips. I bring my lips to his cheek before peppering kisses down his neck, a reminder that I’m here and we’re together. Because that’s all that matters.

“I started nursing school, met Maggie, and finally started to live my life again. It wasn’t until a couple of years later that Wyatt finally asked me out, and I had no reason to say no.” I shrug. “He was still one of my best friends, and he knew me better than almost anyone else. He’d been completely loyal to me since kindergarten, and I hadn’t dated a single person since you left.”

Devin looks off to the right, and I cup his cheek in my hand and bring his eyes back to mine. “He was safe,” I whisper, trying to get Devin to understand the meaning behind my words. “I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, and at the time, that’s what I needed. I never loved him the way I love you. You believe that, right?” I ask, dipping my head to get a better look into his eyes.

Reaching up, Devin runs a thumb along my bottom lip. I have to fight the urge to nip at it, because the weight of the moment is too strong and it’s swirling with too much emotion to go there right now. His face softens and his eyes bounce around my face as though he’s seeing me again for the first time.

“I believe you.” His eyes close as our mouths crash together, my lips parting against his. This kiss is completely different from every one before it. Our hands are exploring and our tongues are dancing rather than dueling for power. It’s as though we’re saying goodbye to all of the guilt and regret, letting go of the past, once and for all.

“I love you,” I say, laughing when he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, distorting my words.