It didn’t take long before they were tripping over each other complimenting her. “This is really good, Sunshine,” Linc raved. “Best I’ve ever had, Ken,” Creed gushed.
She laughed, hard. Harder than she could ever remember laughing before. It felt fan-fucking-tastic. They smiled and she laughed, and together, they were perfect in that moment.
·?•? ?•?·
Creed could honestly say she’d made him the best meal he’d ever had. Sure it was simple; salad and chicken, but it came from her and that more than anything made it taste like the finest dish he could think of. When she’d told them about her dads and brothers, they’d been terrified they were gonna get wilted salad and burnt chicken, so they’d shoveled it in as fast they could until the flavors started to explode on their tongues as they chewed. It was amazing. She really had something with it.
When they were finished eating, he and Linc shooed her away telling her they’d clean up. Observing her as she grabbed her sketchbook, he watched her leave out the back door with a shy expression on her face as she looked back at him.
He was dying to see what she drew. How she drew. He knew she would be good, pouring every emotion into her pictures and he wanted to get a look into her mind in that way. It would be another clue as to how she ticked.
“I can’t believe we nearly lost her, Creed. We never even had her and we could have lost her.” Linc’s anguished words had him spinning around to see the regret on his face over leaving her for that last job.
Clapping his hand on his brother’s shoulder, he met his gaze and told him, “Don’t do that. Don’t think about what could have been, bro. Think about what will be, ok? We’re here now and we ain’t going nowhere, so don’t torture yourself about something that was out of our control; it won’t do any of us any good.”
“I know, man. I do, really. But fuck…” Drawing his hand down his face roughly, Linc looked out the back catching a brief glimpse of her. “The thought of her being so alone thinking she had nothing left to lose kills me inside.”
Nodding his head, they said nothing else to each other as they cleaned up the kitchen. When Linc’s phone rang a chill ran down his spine. Not many people had their numbers and the thought of who it could be and what they would want had a fierce anger running through his veins.
He’d always had a short fuse but with things the way they’d been in the last five months, it had gotten shorter. He was sick of big brother constantly trying to collar them. Every time they shook loose they always managed to get sucked back in again, and he was done.
Nodding his head in the direction of their future, Linc smiled before answering as Creed made his way towards the best thing in their lives.
He walked towards her relaxed form sitting on the sand with her sketchbook beside her, the lapping sea behind her, and he fell. In that moment, he knew he was in love. She was it for him. He’d known that before but never expected to feel half of what he did now. She was stunning, her wavy hair caressing her body like a lover’s touch as the waves lapped at her feet, and in the sand she drew swirly lines. Nothing more magnificent than a stunning woman with the setting sun and the ocean as a backdrop.
When he’d first seen her he’d been stunned stupid by her beauty, but watching her struggle to accept what was happening around her had him amazed by her strength. She didn’t see it in herself the way they did, but it was there. And if he were honest with himself, he was more attracted to the strength that shone so brightly from her than anything else. She was a survivor, a fighter through and through and while she was struggling to see it now, he knew that once she did nothing would hold her back from finding the fire within. He anticipated watching her grow. Was dying to see her find her place in the world again and looked forward to being a part of that life with her. To be by her side knowing that she chose them to be with her was a gift really.
Walking up along side her, he sat down. Reaching towards her hand he linked their fingers together, not taking offense when he felt her flinch. Knowing she was still sensitive to touch had him fighting back his anger at the injustice of her torture again. Not wanting her to think it was directed at anything she’d done he fought it back, taking deep breaths and rubbing his thumb along the inside of her wrist. Feeling her pulse helped soothe the beast within.
Hearing a noise behind them, Creed looked back to see his brother angrier than he’d ever seen before. His face was set in stone and his usually dark brown eyes were blacker than night. Raising his eyebrow in question, Linc shook his head no and mouthed later before settling in behind Kenny so she was cradled between his legs. She nearly jumped right into the ocean, though.
“Deep thoughts?” he asked her.
Letting out a small sigh, she told them, “No, I just tend to get lost when I’m out here. Drawing, relaxing, listening to the waves, it shuts my mind off in ways I’ve never known before. Even before… well before.”
“You come out here every night?” Linc asked her.
Nodding her head, she shared her thoughts. “I love it most when it storms. I’ll bring an umbrella, not that it really helps,” she laughed lightly and it was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. “But watching how the sea swells and crashes, it’s soothing because sometimes it reflects the turmoil in my mind. Watching it play out in technicolor eases the ache.”
·?•? ?•?·
“Christ, Kennedy.” Linc was bowled over with emotion as she compared hers with a stormy sea because he could see it. How she would feel that way; how she could relate. And why the sunset soothes her so much. Surprisingly, for the first time since they arrived he felt true fear. Fear that she was too broken to really heal. Her mind was a mystery and she only told them what she wanted to, not what she needed to.
As she cuddled in closer to him wrapping him around her like her favorite blanket, he tried to broach what he wanted to without making her shut down. “Sunshine, have you… Shit, I mean… Since coming here have you spoken to anyone about what had happened, I mean?”
The change was slow, he felt her pulling away physically and emotionally. It disappointed him but he understood. As she turned in his arms so she was facing them, she kept her head down, her features tight, and her shoulders tense. Slowly she started, “I do now. I didn’t at first, but it’s helped. When I started going, I would shake just walking into the office. And to find out the doctor was a man…” A full body shiver took her over so hard he could hear her teeth clatter together, but she continued, “Well, it was terrifying at the beginning but his assistant would sit in the room with us wearing her head phones. I never actually spoke to him for weeks.
At one of our sessions he said that he’d done some research on alternative ways to help me communicate without having to say a word. He bought me a journal, a sketch pad, and some shading pencils and told me to write what I felt, anything at all. He’d never read it unless I asked him to. I haven’t yet. It’s been six weeks and I’m terrified to let anyone see it.
One day he had asked to see a sketch because I sit in his office and draw for the entire session, and I nearly broke down. I don’t know why, I just did. It felt more personal somehow. More invasive. He’s never pushed me again until a few days ago. I’d had an exceptionally bad night and he could tell so I told him about you guys, how your voices were my salvation. How your abandonment was my undoing.” A tear rolled down her cheek at that confession.
“Oh, Sunshine, I wish I fucking knew how much you needed us, how much we’d helped. I swear to fucking God we do. When we left it was like a piece of us was left in that hospital room with you. It was never something we imagined doing. But I swear to you we are done. Nothing will make us leave you again,” Creed vowed vehemently.
“I know. I know you didn’t abandon me, and it was selfish of me to blame you guys for my destruction. I don’t though, not really. I mean your leaving hurt, but I get it. It really wasn’t your fault at all.” She was trying to soothe them? He almost couldn’t breathe at her words, at her acceptance and incredible kindness.
He didn’t know what to say to her. For the first time in his life, Linc felt like he was teetering on some ledge and one wrong step would send him spinning out of control. A vibration in his pocket had him thinking back on the phone call he’d just received and how they were going to get out of it, and how she was going to handle the news.
“You’re leaving again, aren’t you?” she asked suddenly.