I hope Eliza and Kitty will know how much I love them, and that all I have done was done for their good. God will guide them, protect them, and lead them on the path of peace, so long as they trust in Him. I pray they will.
Large tears flowed, plunking onto the pages below and bleeding over his words just as her heart bled with new pain. Father had wanted her to meet Thomas. In fact, he’d wanted them to marry. She wept harder at the realization. God had led them from the beginning. He had brought them together just as Father desired, and now, because of what she had done, her future of endless happiness would never be.
Oh, how she wanted to see Father at this moment—to hold him tight and tell him she loved him, to thank him for his sacrifices and ask for his forgiveness for attending that ill-fated rally.
She folded her arms over the journal and pressed her head into the crook of her elbow, attempting to muffle her sobs. How she wished Thomas would feel her need for him and come to her and take her away from her self-inflicted grief, but he must hate her now, after what she’d done. The thought of her actions and his stone-like features ripped at her heart and she cried all the harder.
Two words moved back and forth in her clouded mind. Trust God. Trust God.
She must trust God. And she did. But she feared that despite her trust in Him, the life she’d dreamed of had come to an end, and it was all her doing.
The door to Father’s study creaked, and she jumped to her feet, wiping her cheeks.
“Samuel.” She swallowed and wrapped her arms around her middle, trying to hide her curves. The way his hungry gaze poured over her nightgown compelled her to take a step back. Without the usual red coat, his shirt accentuated his muscular frame and his hair had been fastidiously pulled into a queue as if he’d been up for some time.
“G
ood morning,” he said, coming close and sitting on the desk in front of her.
It was then she noticed the light pink sunlight drifting through the window. She’d read all night.
Once again, his eyes combed over her and his breathing stuttered as if he were thinking of things he should not. “Today is the day I have been dreaming of these many years.” He pressed his hands around her waist and pulled her close.
“You’ve been crying.” He moved his thumb over her cheek and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Are you alright?”
She nodded, if only to stop him from asking. How I wish you were Thomas.
He caressed the side of her head with his nose and whispered in her ear while his hands explored her back. “I understand you’ve been through a harrowing ordeal, Eliza, and the shock of it all must be terribly overwhelming. You will have a great deal of sorrow to battle, but I will battle it with you. You have no need to fear.”
She choked on the rock that hovered in her throat. He had no idea how she feared her future with him. Her mind never stopped working, searching for something she could do to make Samuel understand they were not the match he believed them to be.
Her eyes flew open when a vital truth ignited in her memory and she pushed away from him. How could she have forgotten this? It might be her saving grace.
“Samuel,” she said. “Before we’re married there’s something I must tell you.”
He straightened and his mouth tightened as if she might bear bad news. “Anything, my love.”
“My Father was a member of the Sons of Liberty. He was not the Tory we all believed him to be.”
“I know.” Samuel rested against the desk, pulling her closer. “That doesn’t matter to me.”
Eliza’s heart dipped at his casual acceptance, but she wouldn’t surrender. “Samuel, I don’t believe my Father was wrong in what he did. In truth, I feel the same as he.”
Samuel bristled and pushed Eliza away before scooting off the table. He rolled his shoulders back and clenched his fists by his sides. “Here you go again, talking of things about which you know nothing. There is much happening in politics and the issues are far too elaborate for you to even begin to understand.”
“But I do understand!”
“No you don’t!” He yanked her arm. “Anyone who goes against the king does not understand. I forbid you to ever speak of such treason again!”
Eliza shoved him away, her limbs tingling as she gained strength. “I will not remain quiet. I will say what I feel, no matter how it offends you. Christ is my only King, Samuel, and there is nothing you can say or do to make me believe otherwise.”
He snatched her to him again, holding tight to her arms with unforgiving fingers. “Even Christ said to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s. We should serve our leaders and be obedient citizens.” He released her and pivoted, running one hand through his hair. “You should know all this, Eliza. King George needs our devotion.”
Blood pumping, Eliza lifted her chin. “He doesn’t need anything from us, Samuel. If you had only served God with half the zeal you serve your king—”
“Don’t quote Shakespeare at me, Eliza!” He spun toward her with venom in his eyes. “When we are man and wife you will do as I say. You will never speak of this again!”
Samuel came forward and loomed over her, his thick breath clouding the air in front of her face. “When you are mine, you will obey me.”