Nathaniel answered aloud. “Of course she does.”
Then that is what matters most.
His breath quieted. Suddenly overcome with the serenity of the moment, Nathaniel clasped his hands and drooped his head. What was God saying? That freedom was not the most vital pursuit? Of course it was. Without freedom they could not live and worship the way they desired. He needed a wife that could stand beside him in this most vital cause. Nathaniel should focus his energies in that vein, where the most good could be accomplished for the greatest number. Should he not?
Suddenly Thomas’s wife’s gentle smile filtered through his memory. Eliza had once embraced the Tory beliefs, and now she enjoyed the strength that came from understanding and embracing liberty’s truth. Thomas had been patient with her, had taught her those many weeks and his efforts had proved to be of greater benefit to them both than Nathaniel would have ever imagined. But Thomas would have loved her despite that. His love for Eliza had overcome the—
Nathaniel jerked back at the thought that struck like a falling beam. Was God trying to tell him his prejudices were wrong? Joseph’s words from the night of the party echoed. If a woman is God-fearing, and devoted to her family, I care not what side she takes.
His head throbbed ever-harder as he rehearsed the verse his Mother had quoted so often. “Can two walk together except they be agreed?” Nay, they could not. He knew that with a conviction that welded his body and spirit. Yet, as his thoughts settled on what he knew, another verse filled his troubled heart. So we, being many, are one body in Christ.
Nathaniel pulled back and stared across the room through the particles of dust moving in the light of the window. Could it be true? Could their unity in the faith of Christ be enough to sustain a marriage the way God desired? The way he desired?
Shaking his head, he groaned in his throat. He could never think that way. He’d lived through the pains of a family torn asunder by a mother and father who lacked the unity a marriage needed to thrive.
More than that, he didn’t love Kitty and she certainly didn’t love him, so all this foolish deliberation was for naught.
She needs you.
Shivers trailed down his spine like drops of cold rain. Raking his hand over his head, he winced, not only from the pain of fresh bruises, but from the memories of Kitty’s tear-filled eyes, her thin frame, her smiles that lacked the sunshine of months past. Truly, she was not well. But what was it? What had stolen her light and replaced it with shadows?
He wanted nothing more than to help her, but what could he possibly do for her now when he’d destroyed any trust she may have had in him? Lord, I would do anything to ease her burdens, yet I know not what to do.
With a growl, he stood. He couldn’t think on this now or he risked drowning in the waters of uncertainty. Eager to escape the unrequited thoughts that continued to prick, he snatched his black tricorn off the peg and made his way to the road. Pounding head or no, both his attack and the draining munitions needed his immediate attention.
Joseph may have been right about his brother, and there was only one way to find out.
***
The desired comfort from the familiar bed and warm quilt never came. Kitty turned under the heavy blanket and pulled it higher around her ears. When had it turned so cold? The chills that had started yesterday eve had become a constant and fitful companion. Eyes dry, she kept them shut, as the light that consumed the room pained her with every peek at her surroundings.
All she craved was sleep. She crunched her eyes shut as another wave of chills, followed by nausea, crashed over her. Breathing long and deep to ease away the horrid sensations, she turned again under the blanket when the sound of shoes tapped against the floor.
Someone touched her arm. She ignored it. For surely she’d only dreamed the gentle nudge.
“Kitty?”
Kitty blinked against the brightness and tried to smile. “Liza?” She swallowed and winced at the stabbing in her throat. Slowly turning over, she trailed her aching eyes toward Eliza who sat beside her on the edge of the bed.
Kitty squinted and braced herself for the pain it would take to speak. “Forgive me. Did I over sleep?”
Eliza’s thin, dark brows dropped to her nose when her hand brushed against Kitty’s forehead. “Aye, you have, by many hours. ‘Tis noon already.”
Noon? Mercy!
Kitty pushed up, praying perhaps the forced movement might be the antidote she needed to cure the pains that plagued her. “Forgive me, I should have been up long ago.” Once upright, the room swayed and she grit her teeth, focusing on her lap and breathing tight to mollify the nausea that suddenly roared.
Eliza circled a stray curl around Kitty’s ear. “Not to worry. ‘Twas a long night for all of us.”
A long night...
Kitty jerked back and pressed a hand to her chest. “How is he?” The last time she’d seen Nathaniel, his wounds had stopped bleeding and he’d been just conscious enough to allow Thomas and Joseph to place him in the wagon and take him home to recover in his own bed.
She covered her face then swallowed again and winced as the pain sliced down her throat, and into her heart. “Is he well? Do you know?”
“He is well. I just fetched Thomas from his home not long ago, and I can assure you, Nathaniel is much improved.”
Kitty lay back against the pillow, the oppressive worry she’d borne suddenly draining from her, stealing with it the last of her energy. He is well. Praise the Lord.