Kitty feigned ignorance. “I cannot know why you’re looking at me that way.”
“Can you not? I have never seen anyone so devoted as he.” She released a breathy giggle before growing sincere. “You should know how worried Nathaniel was for you, Kitty. He was desperate for you to be well. And since you are up and about and determined to feign liveliness, I shall put your energy to the test.” She leaned forward on the table, pressing her hands into the dough. Her voice grew quiet as if she pried for a secret the surrounding furniture should not hear. “You must tell me of this kiss. I have been desperate for details since the moment I heard of it.”
Heat blasted into Kitty’s face like an oven in August. “There’s nothing to tell.”
Eliza pulled back and lifted a brow.
Kitty snickered. “You don’t believe me?”
When her sister neither responded nor so much as blinked, Kitty shook her head and studied her dough-covered fingers. “I suppose you know I have always cared for him.” The memories drifted around her until she could hear his breath, feel the warmth of his hands on her face and the soft cushion of his lips on hers. Her cheeks heated again and she cleared her throat. “We were swept away in a moment of foolishness.” A grin tugged at her mouth, but she allowed only half of what wished for exposure. She met Eliza’s gaze and raised a single brow. “’Twas nothing, though to satisfy you I will say I... I quite enjoyed it.”
Eliza covered her smiling mouth with her floured fingers. A tiny laugh escaped. She bit her lip and took a deep breath as if trying to contain her delight. “Well, since I can tell I shall have to be satisfied with that crumb of information, I shall savor it. However, I will hope for more later.”
She reached into the container of flour and dusted the board. “I must say that Nathaniel and Thomas have been distressed about the missing powder. It’s produced a worry in them I have never seen.” Eliza looked up. “But you seem to have provided Nathaniel with a much needed, and healthy remedy for his concerns. And if I might be so bold, I do hope this budding relationship continues because I believe you two would be a grand match.”
A remedy for Nathaniel’s concerns? Nay. If he ever discovered her actions...
“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, Liza. Silly notion.” Kitty took in long slow breaths and worked the soft dough in her fingers. “You know, I believe a bit of air will help clean my blood. I plan to take a short walk this afternoon.”
Eyes wide, Eliza smiled tentatively as if she hadn’t expected such a response. “Why, of course. I shall join you.”
“That’s very generous of you, but I don’t think—”
“I should like to get out as well, and you simply cannot find a more beautiful day than—”
“Do forgive me, Liza!” Kitty’s volume rose more than she intended. She cleared her throat. “I find I am craving a bit of solitude.”
The light in Eliza’s face faded. She nodded and looked away, arranging the balls of dough. “I understand. ‘Tis good to have time alone.” The words didn’t match the sorrow in her eyes.
“Please don’t think I wish to be away from you.”
“I would never think that.” Worry dug into the creases on Eliza’s forehead as if she somehow knew Kitty’s motivations went much deeper.
Kitty glanced at the clock on the mantel above the kitchen fire. Noon. She had two hours before she must perform the dreaded task. Like a torrent, the anxieties she’d reserved rushed upon her, threatening to drown her happiness in its crushing waves.
Snatching the checkered cloth from the table Kitty wiped her hands clean as a warm breeze rushed through the open window. She tried to shadow her pains with a light tone. “As I think upon it, I shall be off now. The weather is begging for me join it.” She motioned at the window before she met Eliza’s gaze. “I do plan to take my time. Don’t worry for me.”
“How can I not worry for you when you should not be out at all.”
Kitty shrugged as she made her way to the door and offered Eliza a quick wave. “I will be well, I promise.”
The questions that veiled Eliza’s features couldn’t be covered by the tiny smile she offered. Did she suspect?
Before her sister could expose the inquiries that waited in her eyes, Kitty escaped out the backdoor with a smile and a wink.
Her weak legs begged for rest before she’d even reached the road.
She pressed a hand to her chest. In two hours it would be over and she could return home again. Groaning, she bit her lip.
Two hours.
Two years.
Two lifetimes.
This would never be over. Even if she were able to find a way to stop her involvement, the memory of her actions, and her foolishness that caused Nathaniel’s attack, would haunt her with every breath.
A lifetime of heartache reached long and wide before her like an empty, colorless horizon.