“That’s better.” She smiles up at me.
I wrap my arms around her in an embrace, holding her close to my chest. I close my eyes and breathe her in. I wait for the panic to hit me that this woman isn’t my wife, but it never comes. There’s a ping of sadness in my heart, but there’s also love for Holly that will forever be there. No matter what my future holds, there’s a piece of my heart that will forever be hers.
Laken snuggles up to me, resting her head on my shoulder, and lets me hold her. I don’t know how, but it’s as if she knows I need this connection. I need intimacy from her, even if it is just an embrace.
“Holly was my first real date. I’d just turned sixteen. I’d been on group things or had my parents take us places, but she was the first woman I ever knocked on her door and escorted her to my truck for a proper date. She was my first, and now there’s you.”
She lifts her head and looks at me. “You don’t have to tell me any of this.”
“I know, and that’s why I want to. You’re different. I wish I could tell you the number of times I’ve been hit on since losing Holly. They all wanted to make me forget.” I pause, letting her ponder my words. “I don’t want to forget, Laken. I also want to live. I want to move forward. I want to love again.”
“Tonight is a good first step,” she says, snuggling back into my chest.
We spend the next two hours talking, our conversation flowing freely just as it did at the restaurant. All the while, I hold her in my arms. I don’t take it further, and she seems to be content to give me whatever it is that I need from her. When she yawns, I know I have to take her home.
“You ready to head home?”
“If you are,” she replies, her voice groggy.
Unable to stop myself, I place a kiss on the top of her head. “Get buckled in, and we’ll head home.” She moves back to the passenger seat and bends over to slide her feet back into her sandals before pulling her seat belt over her chest and smiling at me. “Ready.”
I want to kiss her.
I don’t know if that’s a thing, kissing on the first date. I’m new at this, and the last time I had a first date, I was a horny teenager. Funnily, I don’t feel far off from that now. I guess I should have called Ryder or one of the guys and asked them the protocol. No, that’s not how I roll. I’m going to do what feels right. Open and honest. That’s Laken and that’s me. That’s who we are.
I hold her hand in mine all the way back to Mason Creek. When I pull up behind her building, I shut off the engine. “Stay there,” I tell her, grabbing my keys and climbing out of the truck. I rush to her door.
“You know, you don’t have to open doors for me.”
“You know, if my momma found out I didn’t, she’d kick my ass. And you know damn good and well there are eyes everywhere in this town.” I give her a charming smile, one she playfully rolls those big hazel eyes to.
With my hand on the small of her back, I lead her to the back entrance of her building. The one that I know she owns from a small inheritance left to her from her grandmother. When she opens the door, she holds it open, allowing me to step inside. It’s a small open foyer area. There’s a staircase that leads up to her apartment, and another door that I assume leads into her bookstore.
“Thank you for tonight. It was a lot of fun.” She smiles up at me.
My palm rests against her cheek, and the need to kiss her grows stronger. “Can I kiss you?”
Her answer is to grip my shirt, stand on her tiptoes, and press her soft lips against mine. She falls back to her feet way too soon for my liking, but that’s okay. This is only our first date. Sliding my arm around her waist, I hold her tight against my chest. I could stand here and hold her all night, but I know she’s tired, so I pull back.
“When can we do this again?” I ask. I’m not playing games and waiting however many days some stupid dating protocol calls for. I’ve heard the guys talk about it over the years, and that’s not me.
“When you have the free time, call me.”
“About that. I’m going to need your number.”
She smiles and holds out her hand. I dig my phone out of my back pocket and swipe at the screen, unlocking it before handing it to her. “I have to keep it locked, or the girls will sneak and watch videos every chance they get.”