“Donna Lucia is requesting you,” he said.
“I’m busy.” I waved him off, sitting back down. You can’t wave off Donna Lucia, but I wasn’t about to follow Nikolai. “Fuck off,” I added.
A war was going on, the Second Blood War, as I heard Lucia call it. I remembered reading about the beginning of a war in Sofia’s journal, but I wasn’t sure how it ended. I could guess, based on our current state of affairs, but that was all I had. Guesses. I was woefully in the dark as usual. I hadn’t even been able to take Sofia’s journal with me when I left. I’d thought about grabbing it when I’d snuck in to grab Paradise Lost, but I’d run out of time. Even though Anteros wasn’t staying at the penthouse, I’d nearly been caught when Tough Tino showed up as I was leaving. Sometimes I think I’m two people, and the second person wants me dead.
Gabby refused to talk about her mother. She was rarely angry, but she got furious if I brought up Sofia. Regardless, whatever had happened last time, now the Pavonis were split between Beast and those intent on keeping the blood pure, those who supported the princess, who supported me. But I wasn’t a princess.
I was Frankie.
“Just Frankie…” I mumbled aloud, absently fingering the diamond rose pendant. When I was with Anteros, I was transformed, dark in a way that was completely intoxicating. I didn’t question who I was. I didn’t question my wants or desires. I didn’t question the fact that I enjoyed presents filled with body parts.
“I imagine you’re tired after how late you got in last night,” Nikolai cut in.
“You’re still here?” I said, turning back to him. His cold jade eyes probed me. Though I met his glare, inside I was shaking. Did he know? When I snuck out the back entrance and went to steal the book, I’d been sure no one had seen me. Maybe I wasn’t as stealthy as I thought, though. After all, it was the first time I’d attempted anything like this. I’d never even snuck out during high school. I’d been too sick, and it wasn’t like there had been someone
waiting for me. Still, I wasn’t about to be threatened. I was done being threatened.
Standing up, I quickly walked back toward the club before I could hear another word Nikolai said.
As I reached the door, my hand stalled on the knob. I really didn’t want to go inside. I looked at my worn sneakers melting patterns into the thin white sheet blanketing the cobblestone. When I’d been with Anteros, there was hardly a full hour in the day when it didn’t snow. Now only the occasional sprinkle dusted the ground like powdered sugar. In a few months, it would be warm and I could see the courtyard in my mind’s eye: flowering cherry blossom trees, pale gold light peering through the hedges.
On the outside, the building was like all other Upper East Side buildings with clean beige stone—nothing to do a double take over. On the inside…well, the inside was like a castle come to life, but I knew better than anyone castles could be cages. Case in point, Nikolai approached me from the courtyard.
“She’s waiting for you on her floor.” Nikolai opened the door next to me and went inside. I blinked, the familiar fish-out-of-water feeling that had been constant since selling myself to Anteros thick in my gut, except here it was like everyone had a fishing pole. I waited a moment, wishing I had another option, before following. The door slammed shut behind me, but no one noticed.
It was hard to see, the contrast between outside and inside so stark, and I squinted as my eyes adjusted to the dark. Nikolai had disappeared, but that was easy to do here. This was the first floor and you were expected to vanish into sin. Everything dripped opulence and fantasy; nothing went down on this floor that wasn’t conducive to the illusion.
There were four floors total. The first led to the street and housed the courtyard and main club. The second was where my and Gabby’s bedroom was. I’d never been to the third and topmost floor, Lucia’s floor. Then there was the basement, where I wished I’d never been.
I was at the foot of a massive, winding staircase that spilled out onto the floor like melted wax. Lucia practically beckoned for me, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go upstairs. Too much was on my mind. Not one night back with Anteros and I’d killed someone—but that wasn’t why my heart hammered. It was because a dark, twisty part of my soul reminded me just how much I’d liked the kill. It pointed out how I’d stared at his lips when he’d sucked the blood from his thumb, wondering what it tasted like. All I’d wanted to do was chase his tongue into his mouth and lick the coppery taste from it. Every part of me ached for it. I never did get to taste Anteros after I carved him…
You’re so fucking hot for this, you’re dripping down my hand.
“Frankie!” I jumped at my name, feeling like I’d been caught in my memory. I turned to see Gabby walking toward me. Unlike me, she blended in beautifully. She was dressed in a flowing floor-length gown with glittery gold embroidery. Gabby had chopped off her long blonde hair and now it fell beneath her jaw in an angular cut. There was one bold pink streak in it that she tucked behind her ear as it flew around her face. There was something edgy about it, but also elegant. Gabby herself was edgier, though. She’d gained weight in the month we’d been away and was no longer waiflike and sickly. No doubt the freedom from her husband had given her space to grow.
Gabby started talking animatedly, but I couldn’t focus, mind locked on Lucia. When I’d first arrived, Lucia had gone on and on about being glad she’d found her family and I was so excited. At the time I was still naive; I thought she was my grandmother in a cookies-and-milk way. I asked her so many questions. Who was my mother? Was she still alive? She’d called me granddaughter, so I’d thought that must mean I was a Pavoni, but then Papa couldn’t be my father because she wasn’t related to him. Was the mom I knew her daughter?
She’d laughed and said, “In time, child.” A week passed and I asked the same questions, but again they remained unanswered. Another week into it, I got frustrated. I was somehow more in the dark here than with Anteros. I went into the basement searching for answers, but after what I found, I realized Lucia would never be that person.
“Did you hear what I said?” Gabby asked, moving her head to cut off my view of the basement’s door.
I blinked, bringing her bright blonde hair into focus. “Sorry, no.”
“Frankie, I have news,” she said, exasperated. “I’m going to meet with Levi! Donna Lucia is letting me.” There it was. The reason I still didn’t sleep well, the reason I continued to look over my shoulder. Donna Lucia was letting her. It may have seemed like we’d escaped, but there was something inside me that said we’d only traded one penthouse prison for another. My gut screamed that if Lucia was letting Gabby see Levi, it was for some reason beyond love, but Gabby was so excited. I didn’t want to burst that bubble. I smiled and told her it was amazing. I was excited for her.
“Want to help me get ready for my date?” she asked. I looked up the grand staircase. Lucia was waiting for me, but memories of what had happened the last time I’d been alone with her were fresh like a cut.
“Frankie?” Gabby lightly touched my arm. “Will you help me?”
I forced a smile to my face and said, “Always.”
After helping Gabby get ready, I sat in her room, unable to move. Night had fallen and glittery, dancing New York city lights trickled into the room. I watched them dance across the floor, thinking. About Anteros. About me.
Gabby had a room similar to mine, though mine was more opulent. A four-poster bed draped with silky fabric, a billion thread count sheets, and ornate furniture were the themes of both rooms. Light spilled in from big windows swathed in gauzy, feminine drapes, making it appear cheerful and enchanted and beautiful. It was all a lie, the beauty nothing more than paint thrown over rotting wood. I’d fallen for a beautiful room once, and I wouldn’t do it again. This was all simply a gilded cage.
“Emilio is becoming a problem,” someone said right outside the door. I straightened my back.
“I admit I was holding out hope he would have killed himself by now,” Lucia replied, and the person laughed. I sucked in my breath, fearing they would hear my inhales and exhales through the door. As far as Lucia knew, Gabby’s room was empty. I pulled my knees up to my chest, held in my breath, and stuck my ear out.