I got the shoes on and then I started stretching as we descended the stairs and he grabbed two bottles of orange Gatorade and then we went outside and we headed toward the forest behind the farm and we ran. And I felt angry, so angry, but I also felt free.
Dare
She had defied me when I said to come here. She said No to me. I’d never been so happy to hear the word No in my life. She was fighting mad. She was showing signs of not being broken but of having fight in her. And it was fucking awesome. It made me feel good. It gave me hope.
I ran a slow jog behind her and two of our guys took a slow jog behind me. I hoped this was the start of a turning point for her.
After a good hour of running we were back at the farmhouse and she was in the shower. I left her to it so she could get a few minutes alone.
Nino stopped in and told me he had Frost’s belongings from the guy’s room at the B&B he’d been staying at picked up. He handed me a suitcase and briefcase. He said there was a laptop and clothes, weapons, and cash. A lot of cash. I sent him with the laptop back to the barn so he could get Frost to give his login. It might help us to know what was on that laptop.
He came back ten minutes later and it was open, “It opened with his print. I’ve adjusted the settings so there’s no longer a password.” He put it on the table.
She came down in those pjs of mine that she’d claimed and I got my shower and made a few quick calls upstairs. When I came down she was on the back deck with Nino laughing and they were at the barbecue. He was flipping burgers and sausages.
She saw me come down and came back in and went to the counter where she was making a big salad. I kissed her and she smiled at me and then went back to the salad. We ate outside with Nino and Tino at a picnic table and she was lighthearted with them and a good hostess. Then Nino and Tino walked over to the barn with food for the other security guards and for the prisoner. I talked to them outside for a few minutes and then I said goodnight and went inside. She was finishing up cleaning the kitchen.
“I’ll make a call and have them pick up Frost tomorrow morning. He made his bed with them so they can deal with him. You okay with that?”
She nodded.
“We need everything else on the table. Tell me everything else.”
“You don’t wanna know.”
“I do. I wanna know it all. I need it all.”
“Why? Why would you want to know about the abuse I dealt with? It won’t help me to relive it and it won’t help us when you can’t get those images out of your head.” She threw the tea towel on the counter and folded her arms.
I was proud of the fact that she was feeling brave enough to say No to me but now wasn’t the time for it, not in this situation.
“I need to know it all so we can move forward. It could take a while before we’re out but the more info I have, the better. Their partner summit is coming up and…”
Angel
“You’re going?”
“I might have to,” he answered, “It’s gonna take time to get out of this business without making enemies so I have to play their game for a while.”
I swallowed hard and started to tremble, imagining being back there after my teensy weensy taste of freedom.
“So information is power, Angel. I need you to trust that I can take whatever information you have. What they did to you, all of it.”
No. No way did I want him knowing about the horror they’d put me through. No way did he want all that in his head. He would never look at me with love in his eyes again. He’d look at me through a tainted lens. He’d see worse than the broken slave on her knees begging him to be her Master. He’d see how dirty and broken and unfixable I really was, how broken and unfixable I’d always be, and he’d know that he deserves better.
“Please, Dare.”
“Baby.” He grabbed me and put his arms around me, “I need you to come clean about it all. You need to come clean. You’ve already come so far. You’re transforming before my eyes. You’re not Felicia.”
“Well I’m not her.”
“Her?”
“Her. That other name. I’m not her, Dare. She was crushed into dust. She’s gone.”
“Maybe you’re
not Angie anymore. But you’re my Angel. You’re my beautiful girl who survived all of that.”