He let out a slow breath, “So you fucked her and now you feel bad ‘cuz you don’t plan to keep her?”
“Fucked her repeatedly, bro. Can’t seem to stop. It’s feeling like a relationship.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
He gave me a knowing look, “So, we change the plan,” he shrugged, “You wanna keep her, you keep her.”
“It’s wrong.”
“Yeah.”
“It feels right, though.”
“I know.” He gave me another knowing look.
“Pop’ll be laughing his ass off at me right now.”
“For sure,” Tommy said quietly. I saw Tia move in behind him and she waved.
“Hey,” I greeted.
She put a sandwich and a steaming mug down beside him and kissed him on the cheek. He’d caught her hand as she tried to walk away and yanked her back until she landed in his lap and planted a kiss on her mouth. She blushed at him, gave him a look of promise, making me feel like I was a fucking peeping Tom on the honeymooners. I cleared my throat. He took her hips and lifted her away and gave her ass a swat. She left the room. His eyes came back to the screen.
I rubbed my eyes. I’d had a fuck of a day putting out fires and shit.
“So, what if as she gets well in her head, finds who she used to be again, and she doesn’t want this?” I muttered.
“Or what if she falls for you and does?”
“Do I really want someone broken? I grew up with a broken mother, man, you remember. Sometimes Angel seems like she’ll get past it. But I don’t know if what I’m seeing is her or who they made her into. And I dunno if she’ll get past it. I’m not even fucking making sense here.”
“I get it.”
“What if her wanting me isn’t real, just a side-effect of her hero worship because I got her outta there and then it becomes obligation?”
“Make it good for her so she won’t want anything else.”
“I’d hate to put myself out there when it could go sour.”
“Better to have loved and lost and all that jazz, man…”
He was validating it, telling me to keep her. Telling me to take a risk. I figured he’d understand, of course he’d understand, but this wasn’t him just telling me to take what I wanted in a caveman, crime boss kind of way; this was him speaking to me from experience. His situation wasn’t the same but it was close enough to be highly relatable.
“Send me your counselor’s details, okay? I think it’d do her some good to talk to someone. I don’t know her backstory yet but I’m guessin’ therapy could be good.”
“Will do.”
“Is it helping you?”
He shrugged, “Still early days, man.”
“Yeah. Maybe we should all go. Get the Ferrano family discount.” I rolled my eyes.
He rolled his, then asked, “You need me home, man? You’re dealing with a lot.”
“Naw, it’s all good. I thrive under pressure. You know me.”