I was just going to focus on what was in front of me and leave it to Dare. If I still was lucky enough to be his and didn’t have what I had in him, I’d never know about my sister anyway, because we’d never have delved into my other life, life before Thailand. I had to remember that and just put one foot in front of the other.
We had a honeymoon to go on. And I decided to leave it up to him if we would still do that. He told me he was going to find out about my sister for me and that in the meantime he wanted to make me happy. I was so lucky to have him. I’d never forget all he’d done for me. I wanted to make him happy, give him babies, make him laugh, be everything he needed.
“I know you won’t be able to put her totally out of your mind. I want you to just be what you need to be. Okay? Do you want to go on this trip? Or would you rather stay here while I figure this out?”
“I want to go on our honeymoon. I want to live while we figure this out. Is it selfish of me?”
I was weak and selfish and stupidly naïve. I had to be. I couldn’t do anything else right now; common sense would destroy me, completely obliterate me.
“What would she want for you? What did you want for her while you were there?”
I took a deep breath. He was right. She’d want me to live. She’d want me to enjoy my new life, my new husband, after all I’d been through. I couldn’t forget her but I’d try to live like she wanted me to live.
“I’ll have people work on this. I’ve already got them on it. We’ll find out what happened, okay? And if she’s somewhere where we need to rescue her, that’s what we’ll do. If she’s safe and sound, we’ll find a way to safely connect. Keep our cover until that fuckin’ place is nothin’ but a distant memory for us.”
I prayed that rescue wasn’t what would need to happen but I had to compartmentalize Holly right now until we knew more. If not, I’d wind up in the loony bin. And the loony bin, which might not be a bad idea for me, wasn’t an option because Kruna still existed and if they found out, the entire Ferrano family would be in danger. I was now lucky enough to be part of the Ferrano family. I would never ever want to put any of them in danger.
He wanted to take me to Italy and Iceland for our honeymoon. Dare wanted me to meet his mother and he wanted me to meet his Icelandic family, too.
I knew that despite my need to tuck her away somewhere safe in the back of my mind, Holly would creep into my thoughts until we found out what’d happened. It would take major effort to stop myself from obsessing.
I said a silent prayer that Mr. Frost and the others at Kruna had kept their promise to me and let her go and that she’d somehow made it to Charlie and Betsy.
I tried to ignore the nagging voice that told me that they were liars, that they were sick and sadistic human traffickers who would sell a gorgeous platinum blonde-haired blue-eyed teenaged beauty’s virginity to the highest bidder.
I talked to Lisa before we left for our honeymoon and she told me I was doing the right thing. I needed to live right here and right now. She told me to trust my husband when he said he’d find out about Holly.
“These guys, they have connections,” Lisa said, “Tom spent years building a network of people he could go to for any type of problem. Dare will find out what happened to her. It might not be good news, you have to be braced for that, but you’ll get answers somehow.”
She was doing well, on the road to healing. She impressed me. I decided to be motivated by how together she seemed. She told me that the retreat she’d gone on had helped. She’d had counseling. She’d talked about what’d happened to her. She knew it was dangerous but felt she had no choice but to do it. So that she could move forward.
“I owe it to the people behind. You know? The ones still there, still trying to make it through every day.”
“The ones working on their A to B plan.”
Lisa tilted her head, “A to B?”
I explained my initial plan and told her that she’d inspired it.
And then I told her my story, how I’d found myself at Kruna. It wasn’t easy to tell that story. I felt like any moment they could burst in and take us back. But she was incredibly supportive.
“I saw him,” she said after I was finished telling my tale.
“Saw who?”
“Jason Frost.”
“At Kruna?” I asked.
“Of course at Kruna, he’d practically lived there before I left for the U.S. I’ve had the pleasure, if you get my drift. I mean at the retreat. I saw him in passing in a hallway when I was first being deposed. I guess they had him at the same facility. He’s might still be in protective custody there.”
I shuddered at the memory of Jason, at how messed up things were at the horse barn when we’d talked before guys from Interpol swooped in and took him. When Dare found out about the task force and Zack’s ulterior motives.
Thank God Jason hadn’t been able to purchase me after Donavan Frost died. Thank God.
Dare
Stan Smith got ahold of me a couple days after our wedding to tell me that the Kruna partner summit had been rescheduled and it was happening in a few weeks, leaving us a little time to take the extended honeymoon I wanted to take. I would’ve said no; I would’ve sent Stan. I fuckin’ wanted to say no. But, the bullshit with Zack and that task force wouldn’t make that easy.