“Wait, what?” she asked.
“It's just that, I don't know,” he said, with a pause. “I just can't, Lily. I guess I'm not ready.”
Lily slowly stood up from the floor. “I'm really confused.”
“Me too,” Wyatt said.
“Is it me?” Lily asked. “Did I do something wrong?”
He shook his head. “No, no. Not at all. It's definitely not you, Lily. You're amazing.”
“Then what is it?” she asked. “Two seconds ago everything was fine. Now you're acting weird.”
Wyatt couldn't have been more embarrassed. He felt like a total asshole, but just couldn't get past the fact that he was fooling around with another woman besides Caroline.
“I'm sorry.” Wyatt stood up and pulled his pants back on. “I want you to know that it has nothing to do with you. I promise you that.”
Lily's face turned red. She seemed just as embarrassed as he was.
“I wish you would just tell me,” she said, pulling the upper part of her dress back into position to cover up her chest. “I think you could at least do that.”
“I just don't know that I'm ready to move on from Caroline,” he said, with a sigh. “I know it's crazy. She's been gone for a year. I should move forward, but goddammit, I just can't. It's like, whenever I think about anything sexual with you, this deep guilt fills my heart.”
Lily's eyes widened a bit. “Wait, you've thought about sex with me before.”
Shit, he thought.
It was too late to back track now. He had already spilled the beans.
“Yes,” he said. “All the time.”
He cringed, unsure of what Lily's reaction was going to be. To his surprise, her face relaxed and she began to smile.
“Seriously?” she asked.
Wyatt nodded. “Yeah. I've thought about it more times than I care to admit. Every time I did, I felt guilty. Still, it happened all the time. Ever since I walked in on you last week and saw you in your panties. It's all I could think about.”
“I'm really surprised right now,” Lily said.
“Yeah, well, you probably think I'm some creep,” he said. “I promise you that I'm not, though. I really like you, Lily. It's not just about your body either. I love your eyes and your smile. I love how well you take care of Maggie. I think about these things, too. It's not always sex that's on my mind.”
“That's really sweet,” she said.
Wyatt felt a little better about things, now that Lily was smiling again.
“I hope that this doesn't effect anything between us,” he said. “I'd feel horrible if it did.”
Lily shook her head. She approached Wyatt and held both of his eyes while gazing into his eyes. “You don't ever have to worry about that. Nothing will affect our friendship.”
“Really?” he asked.
“Really.” Lily squeezed his hands. “I should tell you something, though. You're not the only one who has been thinking about what it would be like if you and I got together. It's been on my mind, too. In fact, to be honest, it's been killing me that I've had to ignore these feelings.”
“Are you just saying that to make me feel better for coming onto you?” Wyatt flashed a wink and smiled.
Lily giggled. “No, I mean it, Wyatt. I think there's something between us that's real. I mean we've both felt it. I known it for years. I've always had a little crush on you, but when I moved in here, it seemed like the crush amplified by a thousand times. I was so happy when you danced with me tonight and kissed me. It breaks my heart that you can't let your walls down, but I understand why you can't. I want you to know that I don't want to push anything with you that would make you feel guilty. I loved Caroline, too. You know that.”
“I do know that,” Wyatt said. “Man, I wish I could just feel okay about this. I guess I'm just broken still and haven't been able to put the pieces back together. I'm really sorry that you've had to see first hand just how messed up I am.”