‘When I thought you were discussing breaking your marriage vow,’ Lexi reasoned slowly, ‘you were actually talking about the promise you made to keep the house!’ she exclaimed, the enormity of her mistake too much to take in. ‘Five years...at cross purposes...’ The hurt! If only she had waited, allowed him to explain... With a flash of insight she realised something else. ‘My father’s debt. How much did it finally come to?’ She had never asked at the time, but she had heard the rumours since of Lloyds names going bankrupt trying to pay off the appalling losses after a string of disasters.
‘You don’t need to know,’ Jake said firmly.
‘Please.’ Her hand moved agitatedly against his chest. ‘If we are to make anything of our marriage we have to have truth between us.’ A flush stained her cheeks as she realised what she had proposed.
His hand covered hers where it lay on his shirt, his long fingers lacing with hers. ‘The truth.’ His eyes flared darkly. ‘I’d do anything in the world for our marriage, Lexi,’ he said emphatically, and pressed a swift hard kiss on her parted lips. She felt herself relax against him, then immediately went rigid in his arms when he mentioned a sum that made her head spin.
‘Oh, my God! That much.’
‘Yes, but not to worry, I can easily afford it now, but at the time it was touch and go for a while. That’s why, when you told me that night you had heard everything and agreed, I was so relieved and delighted you didn’t mind losing the manor, I suggested the celebratory drink. I couldn’t believe it when you said you would take your share of the money and never wanted to see me again. For a few seconds I believed you were the gold-digger Lorraine had tried to warn me about before we married, and I yelled at you. But it didn’t last for long. I thought you would come back to me. I told myself, Be patient, she’s still depressed, let her have a holiday. When it finally dawned on me that I had lost you for good, I decided Lorraine must have been right all along: you were only after money.’
She saw the pain in his dark eyes, and she lifted her hand to stroke his cheek. ‘I never cared about money and not much about the house. It was only you I wanted, Jake; I loved you, you were my life. I would have lived in a tent if you’d asked me,’ she blurted. Still reeling with the shock of his revelation, she didn’t realise what she was confessing.
‘Past tense, Lexi?’ Jake queried softly, and, catching her chin between his finger and thumb, he tilted her face up to his. ‘I love you, I always have; the last five years have been hell without you. Will you give me another chance to let me try and win your love? Please, Lexi.’
The flicker of hope in her heart burst into a glorious flame. Jake, her husband, vulnerable and pleading for her love, was like a dream come true, and she wanted to believe it. Curled on his lap, his strength and warmth enveloping her, she almost did, but still a niggling doubt persisted. ‘Lorraine—she was in your arms tonight. I saw you, Jake; are you sure she...’
Jake’s strong arm hugged her to his broad chest as he said urgently, ‘Tonight, in Reception, seeing you and Lorraine together, her hand on you.’ His dark brows drew together in a frown. ‘She hurt you, and that I will not tolerate, and if I’m being brutally honest I saw something in her eyes when she looked at you that gave me the same gut-wrenching jealousy I got when I saw you and Dante together, and it made me wonder how I could have been so stupid.’
‘You mean Lorraine fancies me?’ And she laughed out loud at his outrageous suggestion.’
‘I don’t know, but I’m not taking the chance.’
‘But you more or less admitted she was your mistress when you insisted we resume our marriage.’ Yet Jake’s explanation didn’t shock her as much as it should have done. Lorraine had always made her flesh creep.
A rueful grin flashed across Jake’s sensuous mouth. ‘Self-defence! I’m not proud of myself, but, seeing you with Dante, I wasn’t above letting you think I was having an affair. The truth is that you are the only woman I have made love to in five long years.’
Lexi stared into his dark eyes, her heart pounding like a drum, and what she saw in the glittering depths almost convinced her he was telling the truth. Jake celibate for five years was a stunning revelation. ?
??But I saw you kiss her, Jake...’
‘No,’ he denied. ‘But let me tell you about Lorraine, so there can be no doubt left in your mind. Much as I value Lorraine’s business ability, there is no way I can stand by and watch her hurt you.’
‘Lorraine has never liked me, but she didn’t hurt me,’ Lexi said honestly.
‘You’re too soft-hearted.’ Jake dropped a swift kiss on her forehead. ‘And I let pity and stupid teenage guilt blind me to Lorraine’s obsessive character.’
Lexi tensed at the word guilt. Had Jake been involved with Lorraine? She still did not quite credit his tale of Lorraine’s sexuality. She was sure the woman fancied Jake whether he knew it or not. But then, she was prejudiced, she thought ruefully, sure the woman didn’t live who couldn’t fancy Jake.
‘As sixteen-year-olds, Lorraine and I were in the same class at school. She wasn’t a friend. In fact her only friend was a girl called Pat. They were both real lookers, but never went out with any boys, and, as teenage boys do, we teased them unmercifully about being gay, which I might add they freely admitted to. It was also common knowledge that Lorraine’s father was a drunk who beat up both her and her mother. On more than one occasion she appeared in class with a black eye.’
‘Oh, the poor girl.’
‘Yes, well, years later, when Lorraine applied for a job with my company, I remembered her and my own insensitive teasing as a teenager. She told me her friend Pat had been killed in a car crash some months earlier and I felt sorry for her. Plus I had had an embarrassing experience with my last secretary imagining she was in love with me and leaving in tears. Lorraine’s qualifications weren’t great, but at least I could be sure she wouldn’t spend all day making cow’s eyes at me, so I gave her the job. She’s worked hard for me ever since. But tonight I realised something I should have recognised six years ago, when she first tried to convince me you were only after a wealthy husband. She had become far too ambitious, or perhaps possessive is a better word, of her position in my company.’
Lexi allowed herself a wry smile at Jake’s arrogant confession about his secretary falling in love with him, but listened intently as he went on.
‘Later, when you lost our baby, I should have got rid of her then. But with typical masculine arrogance I thought I understood the poor woman. An abusive father! It was only natural she was the way she was. I know now I should have left the psychiatry to the professionals, but at the time I thought, for someone with her family background to forget the message from the hospital was excusable. Family life was of no interest to her. But tonight I wondered how I could have been such a fool. Anyone, male or female, whatever their sexual preference or family background, receiving such a life-and-death message would never have forgotten. I have to conclude she did it deliberately. I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Lexi. I was an idiot.’
Lexi had thought at the time that Lorraine had forgotten the message simply to hurt her, but she had been too ill, too depressed to make an issue of it.
‘What you saw earlier in the foyer, Lexi, was our parting. I had just told Lorraine I was transferring her to the New York branch, and she knew it was more a demotion than a promotion. I suggested if she didn’t like it, she should consider looking for a job elsewhere, and she resigned. I realised that over the years her efficiency had blinded me to the fact she had become far too interfering in my private and personal life. Lorraine kissed me goodbye, but I swear it is the closest she has ever been to me in all the time I have known her, and it was just a kiss on the cheek.’
Lexi hadn’t actually seen the kiss, and she wanted to believe Jake’s version of events.
‘You do believe me, Lexi?’ Jake asked urgently.
‘Yes. Yes, I believe you.’ It was too incredible to be anything other than the truth, she thought dazedly, and reaching up she gently outlined Jake’s wide, sensuous mouth with one finger, her eyes shining with relief and love...aching for his kiss.