‘Dented your ego…?’ she quipped, and met his eyes—which was a mistake. The warmth and the hint of vulnerability in the dark depths made her breath catch in her throat. Maybe, just maybe, he was telling the truth. A tiny flicker of hope ignited inside her. He no longer seemed quite the hard, overbearing Zac she had known, and though she did not want to marry him, they could perhaps come to some suitable arrangement.
‘Yes. That and more. It was a salutary experience, and probably long overdue,’ he admitted ruefully.
He sounded sincere, but Sally still didn’t quite trust him—though she did give him an explanation. ‘I was too worried about Mum to notice anything much that day. Her doctor had told me the weekend before she had not long left.’
Zac’s arm tightened around her. ‘Now I feel even worse.’ He grimaced. ‘I coerced you into being my lover at a really low point in your life, and I can only say sorry again, Sally. But I would be lying if I said I was sorry for making love to you. I think I fell in love with you on sight. My first thought was that you looked bridal…Maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me something even then.’
Sally drew in a deep, shocked breath. Maybe once she would have been ecstatic to hear Zac mention the L word, but now she was doubtful.
‘From day one you confused me. I found myself changing my mind about you over and over again. But from our first kiss in the limousine I knew I had to make you mine.’ He stopped and was silent for a while. ‘The night I came to your apartment—the night you left me aching and frustrated and I stormed out—I was determined to have nothing more to do with you.’
‘I gathered that,’ Sally shot back smartly. ‘I think it was you telling me to stick my head in the cooler box that convinced me.’
Zac’s lips twitched in the beginnings of a smile. ‘Not one of my better moments, Sally, and the only excuse I have is I was out of my mind with frustration. I wanted you so badly.’ He caught her hand and curled it in his own. ‘But later, when we did make love, I realised why you stopped me. It was the understandable nerves of an innocent.’
Nerves of a not so innocent sort tightened at the warmth of the hand holding hers. Zac was getting to her, making her remember things she had tried to forget, and she tugged free.
‘Wrong. I caught sight of the two of us in the mirrored wardrobe and was reminded of where I was. My dad’s old love-nest. He graciously gave it to me at my mum’s instigation, after persuading her to sell the family home so he could buy himself a much grander apartment in Notting Hill. Mum agreed because the insensitive swine actually told her it would help with death duties.’
It still enraged her even now when she thought about it, and once she’d got started Sally could not stop.
‘I hated that apartment. The first week I moved in the phone never stopped ringing with women trying to contact him. I changed the number in the end, and painted the whole place, replaced his furniture with my own. But nothing could change what that studio was in my eyes. The only reason I set the guidelines on our deal to that apartment was because it never failed to remind me of the faithlessness of men, and was therefore entirely appropriate for what you had in mind.’
Sally had said too much. But digging over the past had aroused emotions she did not want to face. She just wanted Zac to leave, and she tried to rise.
‘Dio!’ Zac exclaimed. ‘This just gets worse and worse. But they say confession is good for the soul, and you are going to let me finish, Sally.’
His arm tightened around her waist, the expression on his face one of grim determination.
‘I had no intention of seeing you again after that night, but when you and Al walked into that restaurant the next night, I saw red. I was crazy with jealousy—a first for me…I was frantic. I wanted to walk over and rip his head off.’
There was no humour in his tone, but Sally had to bite back the laugh that bubbled up in her throat at his outrageous statement. She didn’t think he would appreciate being laughed at.
‘Instead I was sociable and polite, and you ignored me, then deliberately insulted me.’
‘What did you expect? A medal?’ Sally slotted in.
‘Don’t be facetious, Sally. I am serious. I was furious to the point of mindless rage with you, which was why I decided to use your father’s dishonesty against you. I knew you responded to me, and I didn’t care how I got you as long as I did. I behaved disgracefully, and I am thoroughly ashamed of my actions. But I can’t be ashamed of the result. And, though I bitterly regret any hurt I caused you, I will never regret making love to you. It was the most amazing, memorable experience of my life and always will be. What I am trying to say, Sally, is that I love you, and I want to marry you, and I did long before I knew about the baby.’
Sally frowned, her blue eyes wide and wary, searching his face, looking for some sign that would convince her he was telling the truth. But with her parents as an example she had spent too long mistrusting love, and was too cynical about most men to immediately believe Zac.
‘Humph!’ she snorted ‘You could have fooled me. You walked in here, and when you realised I was pregnant you insulted me, and then demanded I marry you. Why should I believe a word you say now? I remember our first limousine ride as well. When you told me you were not into commitment, and had no intention of ever marrying, but were up for an affair with no strings attached. So you will excuse me for believing your transformation from arrogant, commitment-shy ex-lover to soft-talking want-to-be husband is just a tad too convenient.’
‘You do
n’t believe me, and I deserve that. But Sally, if you will just give me another chance to let me prove how much I love you…I won’t pressure you into making love as I did before, though it will be hell waiting. I need you, want you so much. You get under my skin like no other woman has ever done.’
At his mention of other woman Sally was brought back to reality with a thud. Margot’s image loomed large in her mind. She reached for her cup and took a sip of tea to control her nerves before she responded.
‘As for being the only woman to get under your skin—that is no great accolade, given how many get into your bed. Margot for one. You must take me for an idiot, Zac. You tried to seduce me on the Monday, took her to your bed on Tuesday, and blackmailed me into sex the following night.’
Sally watched his reaction and saw the effect her words had on him. His great body tensed and all the colour drained from his face, leaving him grey and looking older than his years.
‘You really think so little of me that you believe I am capable of such deplorable behaviour?’
‘I know so,’ she said bluntly.
‘I have never had sex with Margot in my life. In fact, you are the only woman I have made love to in well over a year,’ he declared outrageously.