He put his hands on the table. He looked fierce. ‘There’s more to it than that.’
‘Your sense of guilt? And some misplaced notion that taking my innocence will add to that guilt?’
He went very still. ‘What are you talking about?’
Edie mustered up all her courage and wished she’d taken another whisky when she’d had the chance. ‘You said in the video that you took responsibility for the car crash, so you obviously feel guilty about what happened to your friends.’
Sebastio’s voice was arctic. ‘That is none of your business.’
A lesser woman than Edie might have quailed and run by now, but she’d gone too far. She had nothing to lose.
She pointed at herself. ‘I take full responsibility for my actions. If I want to let you take my virginity then that’s my choice. There will be no guilt involved. Maybe you think that because I’m inexperienced I won’t be able to handle an affair, but, the way I see it, my inexperience is only a very minor physical fact.’
‘It’s more than a minor physical fact, Edie. Emotionally—’
She put up a hand. ‘I can handle my own emotions.’
Now he looked grim. ‘I’m not negotiating this, Edie. I refuse to be the one to take your innocence.’
Not knowing where she was getting the nerve to do this, Edie said tauntingly, ‘You don’t want me enough—is that it? Maybe my virginity is a turn-off?’
‘Edie...’ he said warningly.
She backed away from the desk, feeling a cool chill skate over her skin. Her confidence was draining rapidly. She’d underestimated Sebastio. And maybe she’d overestimated his desire for her.
‘Don’t worry about it, Sebastio,’ she said as loftily as she could. ‘I’m sure I’ll find someone who does want me enough.’
She turned to walk out, but just as she was about to put her hand on the door she heard an indistinct statement that sounded like No way.
It all happened so fast she lost her breath. Sebastio had slammed the door closed before she could open it, put his hands on her shoulders, turned her around and was glaring down into her face with an expression of intensity she’d never seen before.
‘What the hell is that supposed to mean? “Find someone who does want me enough”?’
Edie looked up at him in awe. He was all coiled, taut energy, and for a second she felt sorry for the opponents he must have encountered on the rugby pitch.
She fought not to let him intimidate her. She lifted her chin. ‘Just that... If you don’t want me then I’m sure someone else will.’
He growled. ‘Not want you? You’re the first woman I’ve wanted in four years. I want you so much I can still taste you in my mouth. Damn you.’
And suddenly need met heat and he was kissing her with ruthless precision. The first thing that swept through her system was relief. It had worked. Her very naive attempt to goad him into action had worked.
And then she thought of what he’d just said and pulled her head back, breathing hard. ‘What do you mean, the first woman in four years?’
Sebastio caged her in with his hands on the door behind her. He looked at her. ‘I haven’t had a lover in four years.’
He obviously didn’t relish admitting that, if the bite in his voice was anything to go by.
Since the accident. She didn’t say it. She thought it.
That revelation made something very fluttery erupt in Edie’s abdomen but she had to ignore it and remind herself that he was just talking about sex. Not emotions, just sex. Nevertheless, the fluttery feeling wouldn’t go away.
He said, ‘It’s been a while, Edie. I don’t want to hurt you.’
She shook her head, slightly awed by the look in his eyes, it was so penetrating and intense. ‘You won’t. I’m sure of it.’
Not physically, anyway.
She put her hands on his chest and moved them up to his shoulders. She felt the bunched strength of his muscles and her insides clenched.