A muscle ticked in his jaw. ‘And yet you were prepared to live a lie of a life with a man who left you completely cold?’
Terrified he’d guess what a personal revelation she’d had, she fired back, ‘I’d rather have that life than one with a man who would seduce his way to getting what he wants...lying with his body and his touch. You disgust me.’
* * *
You disgust me.
Something snapped inside Ben—some control he’d been clinging to. Something that had made him feel impotent in the face of her accusations. She was right...he had set out to woo her with marriage in mind...but she didn’t know that he?
?d almost forgotten that objective, that he’d found it so much more preferable to lose himself in her. Over and over again.
‘You still want me,’ he ground out, feeling feral. Feeling desperate.
She shook her head, eyes wide, icy. ‘No.’
Her denial pushed Ben over the edge of his control. He closed the distance between them in two long strides and reached for her, wrapping his hands around her arms and tugging her towards him. She tipped up her chin mutinously, her arms still locked across her chest, pushing up the tantalising swells of her breasts under the silk shirt.
There was a hint of panic in her voice. ‘This means nothing, Ben. Just because I might react—’
He stopped the rest of her words with his mouth, crushing all that tart sweetness, hauling her close to his chest. They were locked for long seconds in a tense embrace and then Ben gentled his hold. His hand reached for her head, fingers tangling in her hair. His other hand slid down her arm, and then to her waist.
For a long second she did nothing, and Ben expected her to pull away, but then, with something that sounded halfway between a sob and a moan, she softened and opened her mouth.
Exultation rose swiftly in Ben’s blood, drowning out the self-recrimination and guilt. He knew only this...her delicious curves melting into him...her tongue touching his.
They kissed frantically, passionately. Angrily. Her arms slid around his neck and her body bowed into his. Ben’s hands cupped her buttocks through her jeans and he notched his body against the juncture of her legs.
He was about to lift her up and hook her legs around his waist, so he could take her into the bedroom, when suddenly she stiffened and then pulled out of his arms. They were both breathing harshly and she was looking at him as if he’d just kicked a puppy.
She shook her head and said harshly, ‘No, I don’t want this, Ben. I want more than just a convenient marriage and a mutual lust which will inevitably burn itself out. And then where would that leave us? It’s all a lie.’
Blood was pumping to Ben’s erogenous zones and away from his brain. It was hard to think straight. He had to exert extreme control over his body. ‘It’s not a lie. It’s the most honesty I’ve ever felt in my life.’
Lia shook her head again and started to walk away, into the bedroom. The fact that she seemed to be unsteady on her feet, which showed how much he’d affected her, was no comfort. He wasn’t sure he was so steady himself.
She emerged minutes later, carrying the big designer bag that had come with the clothes he’d ordered. She walked quickly to the door, avoiding his eye.
An awful mix of panic and desperation made Ben say, ‘So? What? You’re saying that you want more now? After everything you’ve experienced?’
She stopped at the door, her hand on the knob. She turned around and something gripped Ben. She looked very young and delicate, her mouth swollen after his kiss. He wanted to feel it under his again. For ever.
She lifted her chin and in that moment she looked almost regal. ‘Maybe I do. Maybe I’m not as cynical as I thought. I’m certainly not as cynical as you. And, apart from anything else, I could never trust you.’ Then she said, ‘I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t go after my father.’
It took a second for her words to register, and then Ben felt like snarling. Clearly her opinion of him was still low, no matter what confidences they’d shared, or these recent revelations.
Tautly he assured her, ‘Your father won’t be hearing from me. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be a target for others.’
‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘But we’ll deal with that if and when it happens.’
Ben felt an almost violent surge of protectiveness—he wanted to deal with it if it happened. He didn’t want Lia to be the one standing between her father and some unscrupulous shark. And then he realised that she believed that shark was him.
She was opening the door before he could react and then she was gone...only the faintest perfume lingering behind her. Ben felt numb, in spite of the residual hum of arousal in his blood. The taste of her mouth was still on his tongue.
For a second he couldn’t breathe. He turned around and went to the window, his gaze latching on to the soaring buildings, reminding him of what was important. What was solid.
He would be true to his word. He wouldn’t go after her father. Ben’s mouth firmed. There were others he could target; he wouldn’t let this stand in his way. And as for the original plan to find a bride...? Nothing had changed.
The sooner he put Lia Ford into the past and got his life back on track, the better.