Aloha from Hell (Sandman Slim 3) - Page 199

I step out and fall onto the dry dead grass. When my head stops swimming, I go around to Kelly’s side and pull him out. His arm doesn’t look too bad. I don’t bother with Mammon. His neck is twisted 180 degrees, so he’s looking out the back window at the road we just left. Probably nostalgic for when he wasn’t dead. I guess he’s technically not dead since he hasn’t blipped out of existence to Tartarus, but if I was his secretary I’d cancel all his appointments for tomorrow.

I carry Kelly around the car and set him down leaning against the car.

Human souls don’t breathe or have beating hearts, so I don’t know how to check if he’s okay. The angel in my head can see souls, but the dead are all soul, so that doesn’t help much. But a double-dead human soul will end up in Tartarus as fast as any Hellion, so Kelly still being here is a good sign.

The side of my face burns. I touch it where Mammon stabbed me and my hand comes away bloody. Shit. Exactly what I don’t need right now.

Kelly moans and starts to move.

It takes him a few minutes to get his bearings. He rubs the back of his neck and stares at the ground. When he sees the car, he sits up straight.

“You bloody berk!” he yells into the car at Mammon’s broken body. “This is fucking perfect.”

“Get a grip, man. This really isn’t the moment to freak out.”

“Of course. I’m sorry.”

He holds his arm where Mammon stabbed him. It clearly hurts, but is more of a shock than a wound.

I say, “Wait here while I look around.”

I walk up the slope to the freeway to see if there’s any trace of a town or a sign or wandering Boy Scout with a compass. Three strikes. I’m out. We could be in Egypt for all I know.

When I get back to getget bacthe car, Kelly seems a little more coherent.

“The master is still in the car,” he says.

“Yeah. He doesn’t really need any fresh air, if you know what I mean.”

“But he’s not dead, is he? I mean he’s still there.”

“He’s still with us, tough old bastard. Do you know where we are, Kelly?”

He gets to his knees and looks around.

“Roughly,” he says.

“Can you get us to Eleusis?”

“I believe so.”

“How long will it take?”

“On foot? If we cut through the flats and we don’t have to detour too far around holes and faults, less than a day. But it’ll be rough going.”

From the freeway I hear the unmistakable sound of tires. I grab Kelly and pull him to the ground beside me. A heavy Unimog rolls slowly by, running without lights. That’s what I’ve been seeing behind us all night. Mammon must have signaled someone before we left the palace and they’ve been tracking us ever since. A spotlight flashes from the Unimog, playing over the dying trees and cracked road. The car is on the downhill side of an embankment. The light moves back and forth across the exit, but I don’t think they can see us down here. A second later the spotlight goes out and the truck drives away.

We’ve got a posse after us. More good news. Like Mammon said, it’s a good idea to err on the side of caution. I need to do something in case they catch up to us.

“Kelly. Will we be passing through any towns or settlements? Anywhere someone might see us?”

“It’s hard to say. Things can change so quickly here. It’s best to assume we will.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

I open the car and drag Mammon out.

Don’t die on me now, you prick. Give me a few more minutes.

Tags: Richard Kadrey Sandman Slim Fantasy
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