“You know how it is in Heaven these days.”
“I’m dead. I don’t get the newsletter anymore.”
“But you can guess. Anyway, a lot of angels went all Lex Luthor. A lot on our side have been killed. When I found out that they were letting souls take some of their places, I said why not? I even have an angel name now: Penemue.”
“I’ll stick with Alice.”
“Please do.”
I take out the Maledictions. Alice shudders.
“I heard you smoked those thi
ngs these days.”
“I don’t have to if it’s going to bug you.”
“No. Go ahead if it’s going to calm you. That’s what you need to be for a while. Calm and boring. Let this whole angel murder episode fade from people’s memories.”
I light up and take a puff.
Alice waves the smoke away.
“Oh God. It’s like you’re smoking a pig’s ass, and the pig isn’t well.”
I blow smoke in the other direction, and then say, “Not that I particularly care, but how do people feel about me Upstairs? I suppose in some ways the war is my fault. I thought opening Heaven would fix things, but it just made everything worse.”
“You’re right about that,” she says. “But you’re also not Einstein.”
“What do you mean?”
“It means you’re hardly the first one who thought about opening Heaven. It means the war would have happened sooner or later.”
“Then everyone doesn’t hate me?”
She waggles her hand up and down a few times.
“That’s what I thought.”
“I thought you didn’t care.”
“I don’t. And most angels can still kiss my ass.”
“Say that louder. I’m not sure Vehuel heard you.”
“I always wondered, do you have movie nights in Heaven?”
“All the time.”
“Damn. Good ones or just Shirley Temple stuff?”
“Every movie ever made. And some new ones. We have a lot of actors, writers, and directors up there. I got to be an extra in Sam Fuller’s new movie.”
“Samuel Fuller? How did he end up in Heaven?”
“A lot of artists make it. Contributions to humanity count for a lot.”
“So everything would be different if I’d listened to Mom and took accordion lessons.”