“I can’t protect you outside these palace walls.” But he did tonight. Against all odds, he was there when I needed him.
“I understand,” I whisper.
“Brie . . .”
I can sense that he’s grasping for another argument to send me home. I look around his opulent bedchamber as if seeing it for the first time, as if I haven’t already explored nearly every inch of this castle. I’ve been in here before. I just didn’t know this was his room when I was searching it. “This is a big place, and I won’t get in the way. Can’t you find a little room for me? Isn’t there some way I’d be allowed to stay?” I can practically see him thinking it through. I hold my breath.
“There’s only one way,” he says. “I don’t think you’ll like it.”
I school my face into a mask of curiosity. I already know where this is going, and it’s exactly what I need. “Tell me.”
“This morning I will select a dozen women to stay at the castle. Twelve women who want to . . . marry me.” He nearly coughs on the words. “Perhaps if I presented you to my mother as a potential bride . . .” I see it on his face. He’s waiting for me to shoot him down. He has no idea about my deal with King Mordeus or that I need access to this castle, so of course he’d think I’d hate the idea.
“What would I need to do?”
He blows out a breath. “Learn about the court, go to some fussy dinners, maybe a party or two . . .” He gives a shy smile, and for a moment he looks so vulnerable that I forget he’s not the human boy I fell for. “Pretend you like me.”
Part of me wishes I would have to pretend, but my conflicting emotions are all too real. “If I acted like one of these potential brides, would I stay in the palace?”
“Yes. You would be in the guest wing with the other girls.”
“And while I’m here”—while I look for the artifacts the king requires—“you’ll look for Jas?”
“Yes, of course. Whether you stay or return to your home, I’ll search for her.” He brushes his thumb across my knuckles, then rests it there. “You have my word.”
I stare at his hand on mine for a long time, pretending to think about his offer. In truth, it will chafe to watch him choose his bride, and being here will be a constant reminder of his deception and my feelings for him, however misguided. But it will all be worth it when I turn the relics over to the shadow king and take Jasalyn home. “I want to stay.”
His brow furrows.
“What’s that look about?” I ask.
“After you learned who I was and ran away, I didn’t think you’d want anything to do with me. I thought I’d lost you forever. You staying here . . .” He shrugs. “Maybe it seems too good to be true.”
I force myself to smile, but part of me is curling up in shame. If I stay, if I do this, I’m not just deceiving some random prince. I’ll be deceiving my friend. I have reasons for my lies, but he had reasons for his too, and it didn’t make it hurt any less when I found out the truth.
I shake my head, trying to shrug off the tangle of emotions.
“Take the night,” he says. “Rest. Think it through. If you’re at my palace, I can’t allow you to sneak out and search for Jas. You have to decide if you can handle that.”
“I’ll be a prisoner?”
“You’ll be protected.” He toys with my hand, and the light touch of his fingertip against my palm sends a needy shiver through me. I blame it on conditioning, on habit. My body doesn’t understand that Sebastian isn’t who I thought he was. “I know it’s not your style to step back and let someone else do the work, but I can’t bend on this. It’s too dangerous. If you’ll promise not to search for Jas—to leave that to me—I’ll keep you here as long as I possibly can.”
“Okay,” I whisper. “Thank you so much, Sebastian.”
He tucks the blankets around me, but I can tell his thoughts are already elsewhere. “Now sleep.”
Chapter Ten
I DREAM OF FIRE. Of baby Jas in my arms. I dream of my mother’s desperate pleas for a stranger to heal me and the sound of her tears when he agrees. I dream of night so dark all I can see are the Barghest’s fangs as it lunges for my neck. I dream of silver eyes, and of Jas at five, telling me to count while she hides. Don’t peek! The prince will help you find me.
When I wake, I’m no longer in Sebastian’s chambers. Light pours into the room from a massive wall of windows. Two servants busy themselves around me—one at the foot of the bed, preparing a small breakfast tray, and the other filling the tub inside an attached bathing room.