We’d discussed our plans a bit more, but mostly I stayed off the topic. Once it was mentioned, Anson obsessed about it. Even if he didn’t verbalize his anxiety, I could tell how he was feeling by the sound of his voice on the phone or the crease in his forehead when we video chatted.
I’d told him I would come to Georgia because I thought it would be better for him. I figured he would want to be comfortable, in a familiar space, that it would make him feel more in control, even though he already was. This was one ball game where I was more familiar with the rules than Anson, but it was still his game. He was running the show.
So I’d been surprised when he’d said he would come to California. Which was how I found myself waiting in my car at the airport, a little after dawn. He’d taken a direct, late-night flight from Atlanta to San Francisco, probably so he’d encounter as few people as possible, as if they would take one look at him and know he was traveling to have sex with his secret gay lover.
I saw him before he noticed me. He was wearing sweats, minus the team logo, a hoodie with the hood up, a baseball cap, and sunglasses.
I got out of the car and waved him over. “Way to be incognito,” I teased, and he flipped me off.
“Fuck you. This is scary-ass shit for me,” he said as I opened the trunk.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make light of it.”
“Whatever. It’s fine. Let’s just go.”
He tossed his bag in, and I closed the lid. Once we were both in my Audi again, he took a breath I was pretty sure he’d been holding since he’d gotten on the plane in Atlanta.
“We good, Bashful?”
“Yeah, sorry. I’m just on edge.”
“I can see that. I’ll give you a full-body massage at my house.” I winked, and there it was, that damn pink that crawled over his skin like it belonged there. When he didn’t respond, I asked, “What time does your flight leave tomorrow?” When I’d said one day, he’d really only given me one damn day.
“Eight. I figured you could drop me off somewhere, and I could get a car to the airport. You have to work, and I don’t want to get picked up at your house. I know you leave your place early, so this way you won’t have to drive all the way to the airport.”
This was already hectic, which I guess made it a good thing that it would only be this once. “Fuck that. I’m not dropping you off somewhere. I can handle getting you to the airport.”
He looked over at me for the first time, and damned if I didn’t feel a light, almost fluttery feeling in my stomach. It had to be nerves. Slowly, I reached out. When he didn’t stop me, I kept going until I pulled his sunglasses off. “There. That’s better. I like to look at your pretty eyes when I talk to you. Also, sunglasses at dawn look suspicious.”
“I… It’s so weird, being talked to the way you speak to me. No guy’s ever… Well, of course no guy has ever, since I’ve never done this, and no one knows, but it’s different.”
“In a good way?” I asked.
“Always looking for a compliment, aren’t you?”
“Well, I earn them a lot. There are many things about me that deserve praise.”
“Like your big head?”
“Hey, I haven’t shown you my cock yet. Have you been secretly spying on me? And huge is more accurate.”
We both chuckled. I started the car and pulled away before I did something stupid like kiss him then and there.
“How was the flight? Did you get any sleep?”
“Nah, I never do unless it’s after a game.”
“Yeah, I hear you. My life would probably be a whole lot easier if I were able to sleep on flights, but I never can. Most often I use the time to work.”
Anson didn’t reply. He was definitely fidgety, rubbing his hands on his pants, rolling his cell phone over and over in his hands, shifting, then shifting again.
“Hey,” I finally said.
“Yeah?”
“No matter what we said this is about, there is no obligation here. If we get to my place and you decide you don’t want to do this after all, then we’ll spend the day relaxing. If there are only certain things you want to do, then we’ll only do those things. You don’t have to be nervous. Nothing will happen that you don’t want.”
“I want,” Anson replied. “That’s what makes it even harder.”
Fuck, this guy tied me up in knots. He made me feel things I couldn’t put into words. Like he was giving me some kind of something I didn’t deserve.
“What?” he asked when I didn’t respond.