He laughed. “Hey, I haven’t even asked her yet, and I don’t know when I will. Don’t get too ahead of yourself.”
“But you will, and she’ll say yes.” Because once Elias set his mind to something, there was nothing he couldn’t make come true. I wanted to be just like my little brother when I grew up.
I waited until I was lying in bed for the night, then video called West. It was mushy and embarrassing, but I actually wanted to see him.
“Hey, Bashful.”
“Hey.”
West frowned. “What’s wrong?”
He really did know me so well. Maybe better than anyone. Definitely better than anyone. “Nothing is specifically wrong. The playoffs are starting, which is a big fucking deal, so we’ve been practicing a lot. My brother…you…”
“Good things about me, I hope. Like how much you want me? I can see how that would be overwhelming and could fill your thoughts all the time.”
“There’s something wrong with you.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “Yeah, but you love me for it.” I did, but I knew he didn’t mean it that way. “Okay, let’s figure this out. The playoffs, I get. You don’t have to be a football guy to understand that, so we’ll go to Elias next. What’s up with him?”
“Nothing bad. He wants to ask his girlfriend to marry him. Her name is Carly. They haven’t been together long, but I trust his judgment. He also said he’s not doing it right away, but…he said he knows she’s the one.”
“Wow, that’s big. Good for him.”
“He was nervous, wondering if she deserved someone better or if she’d wake up one day and decide she didn’t want a husband who’s in a wheelchair, but I told him he was crazy, and he knows I’m right.”
“Sounds like you were a good big brother, like you always are.”
The intensity in West’s stare told me there was more he wanted to say. “What?”
“How did it make you feel?”
“He’s my brother. I’m happy for him.”
“I’m sure you are, but I meant for you. I’m not talking about him.”
“What does Elias getting married have to do with me?” But I knew what he was asking, and I knew why.
“Don’t play dumb. We both know you’re not.”
No, I wasn’t. I sighed and adjusted myself in the bed. “It made me sad, West. Is that what you want to hear? That I was jealous of my brother and wished it were me, but not with a woman? I used to wish I were straight, wished I wanted women, but ever since I’ve been with you, I don’t. So yeah, I wondered what it would be like to tell him I had a boyfriend I was in love with. That I wanted to marry him. And Elias would congratulate me and tell me the guy was lucky to have me. There would be no question of weirdness or fear that he’d care I’m gay.”
“No, that’s not what I wanted to hear. Not really. I want all those things to be true for you. I don’t want to hear that you wonder what it would be like in a way that tells me you don’t think you’ll ever have it.”
God, he was great, so fucking great. I didn’t know how I deserved him, how West could ever think he was selfish. He was so good at this, at caring for other people, at being there for them. He really did want to make the world a better place. He’d already made me a better person. “I wish you were here,” I found myself saying, unsure if I should have but unwilling to take it back.
West sucked in a sharp breath. “I wish I was there too.”
“What would you do to me if you were?” I asked, not allowing myself to second-guess.
“Oh, Bashful, I don’t know if there’s enough time for me to tell you all the things I would do to you.”
I laughed, but yep, my cock was stiffening. “Condensed version?”
“Someone is feeling naughty tonight.” He was in his office chair—the one at home, not at work. “I’d strip you down. Kiss you everywhere, feed you my cock but not give you my load. Then I’d suck your dick and tease your hole because you like it. Maybe this time I’d get two fingers inside you and fuck you with them until you’re writhing and begging for more.”
“Fuck.” I rubbed my palm over my erection. “What else?”
“Next time I have you beneath me, I’m not going to want to stop with blowjobs and jerking off, not that those aren’t great. I won’t take your ass the first time, but just when you’re losing your mind with my fingers inside you, I’ll take them out, get on my hands and knees for you, and give you my ass.”
At some point, I’d shoved a hand into my underwear and begun stroking myself. I propped my phone up against a pillow. “Oh fuck…West.”