So I did my best to lose myself in it, in the feel of West in my arms and the melody of the bike and the rhythmic twists and turns that somehow managed to relax me.
Eventually, I began to recognize the scenery and knew he was taking us back to his house. It wasn’t as if we could risk going anywhere else and being seen together.
West made his way back to his street, then down his driveway and into the garage. When it was closed behind us, I pulled my leg over the bike and my helmet off just as West removed his. I leaned in and pressed our lips together. “That was fucking fantastic. My legs feel wobbly. It’s been a while since I’ve ridden.”
“Yeah, me too. Feels like there’s always something else that needs to be done.” West dismounted the bike. We put the gear away, and then he unlocked the door leading to the kitchen.
We hadn’t taken much time to talk about what we were going to do. After sex and what we’d admitted to each other earlier, we’d gone to sleep. West had woken me with a healthy breakfast and coffee, then asked if I wanted to go for a ride. I figured it was a good distraction for us both, but I was also going a little crazy and was now struggling to turn off the rapid-fire questions shooting around inside my head. What were we gonna do? Where did we go from here? Was West okay with keeping our relationship in the closet? How could we have any kind of future together?
“Hey,” he said softly, making me realize I’d spaced out. West was staring at me with his forehead creased in concern. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” He reached out and cupped my cheek. I couldn’t help leaning into his touch, into him. I struggled to wrap my brain around the fact that this had even happened. How had we gotten here in a matter of…well, it’d been five months since West had sat beside me in that hotel bar, but still.
“Everything.” It was strange, the vulnerability I allowed myself with him, but it didn’t make me feel weak. I wrapped my arms around him, put my head on his shoulder, and just breathed in his masculine scent. God, I wanted this. Now that I had it, I didn’t know how I would ever live without it or him. “How are we going to do this? Do you even want to do this? Is it too much? You’re out, and I’m—Christ, I’m asking you to hide for me, and I know how you feel about that.” It was important to West to be vocal and unapologetically himself and, well, gay. There were some things he hid from the world, like how deeply he felt things, but his sexuality was something he refused to hide.
West’s hands found their way to my hips, and he pushed me back just enough so we could look at each other. “I’ve never seen this side of you before. You’re a worrier.”
“Yes. Yes I am.” I shook my head, but I was smiling. “But only when it’s something that matters.” West mattered too much.
He brushed his thumb under my shirt, against my bare skin. “We’ll figure it out. We don’t have to have all the answers today. Hell, it’d be impossible to have them all today, and even when we think we have it sorted, things will change.”
“This isn’t helping,” I teased.
“How long can you stay?”
“I’ll have to make something up to tell Mom and Elias, but I can stay through the week. When do you go back to DC?”
“Sunday evening. I do have some work to do here, of course, but I’d like you to stay. I’m not nearly done with you yet.” He leaned in, ran his tongue down the column of my neck, then bit gently.
“Fuck.” My knees buckled. He turned me into a puddle of want every time he touched me.
“Oh, Bashful, I love the way you come undone for me.” He kissed his way around my neck before pulling back.
“Are you going to call me that forever?”
“I was planning on it. Do you have a problem with it?” I grinned but didn’t answer, and he added, “I didn’t think so.”
“You’re such a cocky asshole.”
“What does that say about you since you like me so much? No, you love me.”
I rolled my eyes, but damned if I wasn’t laughing. Right then, standing in West’s kitchen with him, I could almost make myself believe he was all that mattered, that none of the other stuff could touch us. Somehow, out of all the people in the world, we’d found each other, and we’d fallen in love.
Unfortunately, life was never that simple.
We ended up lying on the couch together, watching a movie. I was behind him on my side, with my arm around him. It was a wide couch but still a tight fit, and I liked it that way. I liked being close to him, feeling him against me.