“Anything you want to talk about?” Jeremy asked, sitting down on his bed. He leaned against the headboard.
“No, because I don’t even know what I would say.”
“Okay…well, I’m here if you change your mind.”
“Sorry. I know that was…odd. What I said. We’re friends, so I’m trying to be a good one. I don’t want anything to be awkward or off-limits. I don’t really do off-limits, and I wanted to make sure you know that. But if I shouldn’t have said any of that, I apologize.”
He smiled, and it made me smile, and somehow, that easily, I knew we were good. “You’re fine.”
“I know.”
He rolled his eyes. “And thank you, for being a good friend. I’m realizing I have a lot of acquaintances, but I never allowed myself to have a lot of friends. There’s a difference. West and Bobby are mostly it for me; then Anson, but it’s a little different with him. He’s my best friend’s husband. It was awkward at first, especially when Anson found out we used to sleep together and—”
I blanched. “You’ve fucked West?” I didn’t know why that surprised me.
“Yes. We’ve fucked each other, with and without Bobby. Pre-Anson, of course.”
I shifted. “Damn…that’s…damn.”
“Why is that so weird for you? You haven’t had sex with friends?”
“Yeah.” He had a point.
“Same thing.”
I took a bite of my sliced apple.
“Anyway, what I was saying is, now there’s you—who’s a friend, I mean.”
I smiled. “You like me a lot. You wanna be best friends with me.”
“I don’t like you very much right now.” Still, a grin curled his lips.
“It’s okay. I like you too, and I’m the same—acquaintances and not a lot of friends, but you’re one of them.”
Jeremy shook his head and chuckled. “We are so strange.”
“You can say that again, man.” We really fucking were. I didn’t get it, didn’t get us, or why this felt like so much more than it should. I’d just keep doing what I was doing and go with it. “How was work today?”
“Good. I think my case is going to wrap up pretty quickly.”
We talked more about his day, then mine. We chatted until I was yawning and knew I needed to get some rest.
“Night, Angel,” I teased.
“Good night, Troublemaker.”
I fell asleep thinking about him.
Chapter Nine
Jeremy
Early October
Me: I think I’m going on a date tomorrow night.
Troublemaker: You think or you know? Seems like something you should know.
Me: Ha, ha, fucker. I know, unless I change my mind. He’s an attorney. We’ve known each other for a while. Apparently, he wanted to ask me out, but I was married (we kept our open relationship on a need-to-know basis with people), so now that I’m single, he asked.
Not that I hadn’t hooked up since the divorce. I had, but this thing with Patrick was different. It was an actual date, with someone I knew, not a guy I found on an app. It had been automatic, almost, to say no. I wasn’t sure if I could feel anything different for Patrick, but then I reminded myself that one of the reasons things with Bobby had ended was because I wanted more. How would I ever get more if I didn’t take a chance? How would I ever know if I could feel something for Patrick if I didn’t go on a fucking date with him? So I was.
And I was telling Darren about it because, well, we were like that now.
Troublemaker: Gotta say, man, you don’t sound too excited about this date.
Me: How would you know? We’re just texting!
Troublemaker: He’s an attorney…um…is he hot? You’re all: he wanted to ask me for a while. Where’s the: I’ve been wanting to jump his bones for months. You didn’t say he’s funny or anything interesting about him. This isn’t the guy for you.
I rolled my eyes, somehow not at all surprised at Darren’s response.
Me: What are you, fucking Cupid now?
Troublemaker: Fucking Cupid is an option?
Me: You have serious issues.
Troublemaker: I bet you money you’re smiling, though.
And of course I was, the bastard. He made me smile entirely too much.
Troublemaker: Hmm…maybe I’ll go on a date tomorrow night…
I frowned, then forced my mouth in the other direction and ignored the tightness in my chest. I had no business feeling anything about Darren going on a date, unless it was happy for him.
Me: Okay, copycat. You gotta go on a date just because I am? Also, it’s that easy? You just wish it so, and it happens?
Troublemaker: Copycat? I thought I was supposed to be the immature one in this relationship? Also, yes, it’s that easy. I got mad skillz.
Me: Friendship.
Troublemaker: Huh?
Me: You said relationship, and we’re in a friendship. Unless you’re suddenly queer and I missed a few steps between us.
Troublemaker: Friendship, relationship, same thing. Also, you deserve better.
Again I frowned. My insides felt much more twisty than they should.