“You cheat.” I stood too. We were both a mess, his shirt untucked now, paint on our faces, me with more on my clothes.
“Sore loser, are we?” He grinned, and all I could think was, that had felt a whole lot more like winning than losing.
Chapter Thirteen
Jeremy
I did my best to avoid being alone with West the rest of the day. I couldn’t decide if he would question me about Darren or not. He’d be curious. West knew me, and while a whole impromptu wrestling paint match wasn’t out of character, it was out of character to do it with a football player I wasn’t fucking. He’d see that I was feeling some things I probably shouldn’t, and I wasn’t ready to talk about it.
Leave it to me to start falling for a newly questioning, maybe not straight guy who hadn’t decided if he was going to allow himself to act on his freshly discovered maybe not straightness—that was a mouthful. Because that wasn’t a heartache waiting to happen. Especially when I took into account the fact that he was a quarterback in the NFL. Yeah, Anson played on his team and was gay, but I couldn’t imagine the talk that would happen about two queer guys suddenly on the same team.
It was early evening now, and I’d taken care of work for the day. I loved being at the center, and part of me was jealous that I didn’t do this full-time like West. There was something special about it that made it feel like it wasn’t work at all, no matter how hard it was. West was changing lives, and I couldn’t be happier for my friend.
I made my way outside, wanting some fresh air. It was chilly, a light breeze dancing over my skin when I stepped out. I looked into the yard and saw Anson and Darren, both dirty as they played a game of football with a group of teens and early twentysomethings.
Darren had the ball, his eyes darting around before he threw it to one of the teens. She caught it, her eyes wide as if she was surprised before everyone yelled and she started to run for a touchdown.
She made it, and Darren lifted her up. She laughed as they all cheered for her. I was pretty sure her name was Megan. I’d talked to her a few times, and all I could think was how much she needed that—to belong and feel part of something. Megan struggled with her self-esteem and had moved here to live with an aunt because her parents hadn’t accepted her. In that moment, she’d found her place, she’d scored points for her team, and that was enough to make her fly.
Darren set her down, his face split into an ear-to-ear grin.
He loved this too, being a part of it, working with kids. It made my heart melt even more for him.
“Larsen asked you out.” West stepped up beside me.
Shit. Because of course Larsen would say something. “He did.”
“You said no.”
“I did. We might work with him. It’s not appropriate.” Lie, lie, lie. I’d said no because he wasn’t who I wanted to be with. That was the man currently chasing Anson around in the grass.
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Fuck. I knew he’d recognize something was up. “We’re just friends.”
“You have feelings for him.”
“It’s a crush.”
“He’s straight.”
“It’s a crush. We’ve all had them on a straight guy before. This too shall pass.”
West chuckled and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “But then…maybe he’s not so straight after all. He watches you all the time. You can tell it’s confusing as fuck for him, but he can’t keep his eyes off you. It’s…different for Darren. Ans noticed too. How…?”
“We just started talking at the wedding, and then when you guys were on your honeymoon. From there it went to calls and texts. We’re friends. I don’t want to risk screwing that up. I care about him too much, and I know how this plays out. Even if he decides to dip his toes in queer sex, there’s a difference between getting off with someone and being with them, coming out and the world knowing, and with him being a football player…” It wouldn’t end well for me. I’d be the one hurt. It didn’t take a genius to figure that out.
“If you haven’t noticed, my husband is currently an out football player—oh, and Darren’s best friend.”
Which was great but not enough. When Anson had come out he’d been contacted by a college player, who was gay and considered coming out, but he had gotten hurt and never entered the draft. Maybe things would be easier if there was someone else too. “Yeah, but Anson always knew he was gay. Darren just…I don’t know. Maybe he’s curious or confused, but it’s not the same for him as it was for Anson.”