“No!” Raven slammed her hand down on the table, drawing everyone’s attention. She often sat in the back and only contributed when she really needed to.
“You can leave.”
Raven held her hands up. “This is what Creed did. You think I don’t feel the guilt over what I’ve done?”
Smokey’s hands clenched into fists as Raven continued.
“We’ve got to hit back and hit hard. First, he went after territory, now he’s done this with Ava.”
“What did he do?” Smokey asked. “Fuck all. That’s what he did.” He answered her before she even had a chance to. “Creed didn’t do this. He set the fuel, but we’re the ones who stoked the fire. We’re the ones who took an innocent woman.”
He stopped and pressed his lips together. The way Ava cowered away from him last night would be forever embedded in his mind. “I did that yesterday. Not Creed. I should have looked at those pictures, tore them up, and burned them. He won. I didn’t.” His own insecurities about women had stopped him from doing it.
He’d believed the worst of a woman who’d only shown him to trust her. To love her even.
In one simple action, he’d lost a great deal. Ava was … precious. She would never have betrayed him. He’d waited all night for the police to come knocking at his door. Instead, he was left alone.
Ava hadn’t even called the police. Hanson had told him that she’d been questioned at the hospital repeatedly, looking at him as if he was the one to hurt her.
“We’ve got to do something,” Raven said.
“We do. We … we make sure that Ava is well taken care of. For the foreseeable future, I advise that you keep your distance. I tried to see her last night.” The memory of her flinching away from his touch was right there in his mind. Mocking him. He fucking hated it.
She didn’t deserve any pain he’d caused her.
“Are you okay?” Raven asked.
Smokey pulled out of his thoughts and looked around him. He quickly got back to the arrangement on Ryan. The pickup should be easy so long as there were no tricks. He didn’t anticipate any.
When no one offered up any questions or conclusions, he smacked the gavel down, drawing the meeting to an end. He leaned back and rubbed at his head.
Raven cleared her throat, and he sat up, surprised to see both her and Ugly Beast still in the church. He wasn’t in a rush to leave the room. He needed the peace and quiet. Last night, he hadn’t slept once.
In a few hours, he intended to take over from Hanson.
“This isn’t your fault,” Raven said. “This my fault.”
He sighed. “Raven, go away.”
“I know you’re angry.”
“Then why are you still here? You’re a club brother as far as I’m concerned, and that means I can beat the shit out of your ass.” He stood up and the chair flung across the room with the speed at which he moved.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“I don’t need your apologies. Go and do whatever job you need to fucking do. I’m done listening to your shit.”
He was through with her. The last thing he wanted was to listen to more excuses.
Raven’s hands tightened into fists.
“Do you want to throw down?” Smokey asked.
When Raven had been initiated, she’d taken on five of the club brothers, showing she could have their backs just as much as they could have hers. He’d also made her lift one of the brothers and carry him across the parking lot.
She’d done it all. She was a strong woman, but he knew deep down inside, she was vulnerable. The world hadn’t wanted her. They were the only family she had. She needed this club. Abriana was the closest person Raven had as a friend. That had increased to two with Ava.
He’d fucked it up.
“I hope you can make things work with her,” Raven said. She turned on her heel and left.
All that left was Ugly Beast.
“What?”
“I wanted to make sure you’re all right.”
“I don’t need any hand-holding. I’m not a fucking pussy.” He was done being treated with kid gloves. What was done was done. Nothing he could do to change that.
“How did you know again?” Smokey asked. “When you saw the pictures, you were looking for blood. You went home to your wife.”
I … I asked her what she thought of Ava. I looked at the pictures, and it seemed too perfect. I also can’t deny that Ava’s won me over in the past few weeks. Her cooking is the best and even though Abriana’s improving, she’s never going to be able to cook well.” Ugly Beast shrugged. “Apart from you, Raven and Abriana are the only two people she’s been around and well, I trust my wife’s judgment.”
“I made a rash decision.”
“You thought Ava was like every other woman. I hurt Abriana before I admitted I was in love with her and I couldn’t live without her.”