Banner looked me right in the eyes. “We’ll go now. I’d like tae know why this Conor O’Brien wasn't in yer life too.”
I wondered how much more confusing my life could be.
I’d tried to call Evelyn before we left the estate, and I would have thought she was working, maybe sleeping, but when I’d gotten a text from her just minutes after I hung up, one that said she was trying to work through things and talking to me right now would just make things even more confusing for her, I knew she was avoiding me. And I couldn’t blame her.
A part of me couldn’t help but feel guilty, like I’d ruined my best friend's life with this unbelievable information that had been dropped in her lap.
“Everything will be okay,” Caelan said softly and pulled me across the leather seat. My side was flush with his now, and I stared straight ahead, the big, black SUV we were currently in moving across the Scottish countryside and hurtling toward a place I never thought I’d be going.
To see my father.
Alasdair had told me that once he found out who my father was, he’d searched for his location.
There was no death date.
He’s still alive.
“Are ye okay, baby?” Caelan asked softly, and I licked my lips again and nodded.
But I wasn’t sure if I was lying to him or myself.
The only thing Alasdair had been able to tell me for sure was that Conor had gone off the grid over twenty years ago—almost twenty-four, to be precise.
I didn’t know how I felt about that, because it sure as hell seemed like he’d disappeared when he found out about the pregnancy. But then again, that brought out a whole slew of questions on how he could have just turned his back on his mate. Or was it all my mother? Had she rejected him?
God… had my father forced himself on my mother?
A wave of dread and hurt and anger filled me, and I felt Caelan tighten his hands on me as if he could sense my distress.
Of course he can.
I scrubbed a hand over my face again and stared out the passenger window, watching the greenery race past us.
I knew why Banner was going, knew why there was another SUV trailing behind, one I’d seen being filled with four big-ass Lycans. I didn’t have to understand the Gaelic Banner barked out to those males to know they were going to see my father in case things had to be dealt with.
I also didn’t miss how Cian had been suspiciously absent. When I’d questioned Caelan about that fact, all he muttered was something about crazy-ass Lycans and America. Well, Cian had his hands full with a firecracker of a mate, that was for sure. A part of me almost felt sorry for the huge fight she’d give him. Kind of.
“Everything will be okay,” Caelan said again, and I wondered if he was trying to reassure himself. I could feel the tension and seething anger in him and knew he was ready to fight for me at the drop of a hat. I knew he had been thinking all the same things I had.
“I hope so, but I’m scared.” I said those words low enough I hoped only Caelan heard. I didn’t know why I cared if Alasdair and Banner heard, but for some reason I wanted to seem stronger in the face of this. I wanted to seem like I wasn’t some weakling who couldn’t handle shit that was thrown at her.
But no matter how strong I’d been in my life, having Caelan by my side and reassuring me that everything would be okay gave me even more strength.
It was hard not to believe that all things would work out when the sound of his voice could ease me.
I rested my head on Caelan’s shoulder and stared straight ahead, but as the minutes moved by, I felt my eyelids growing heavy. After Caelan had claimed me for the first time yesterday, he’d taken me twice more before we’d woken for the day. And coupled with all the stuff I’d learned just hours ago about my father, I was feeling the weight of exhaustion settling on me.
I let one of my arms drape around his middle and held onto Caelan as I closed my eyes, telling myself I would just rest for a moment, that I’d try to relax.
It was the sound of car doors opening and closing that had me opening my eyes. I sat up and let the fuzziness of sleep wash away as I looked out the window. Both dark SUVs were parked side by side in front of a single-story stone cottage surrounded by woods.
I looked over at Caelan, feeling my brows draw down low. He watched me but didn’t move. Didn’t speak. “Sorry. I didn’t realize I dozed off,” I murmured as I smoothed my palms up and down my jean-clad thighs. I stared at the clothing I wore, ones that Caelan’s mother, Luna, had given me.