“I’ll be back tomorrow morning.” And my stomach flips in both excitement and trepidation. I hate the duality of my emotions where Jett is concerned, and I start to hate Shane for causing me to start having doubts about his actions. “Can I come see you? I know it’s a school night so I can bring dinner for everyone.”
Another wave of confusion hits me. Extreme gratitude for his generosity. He and I don’t get a lot of time together, so it would have been entirely appropriate to ask me to stay at his house tomorrow. I would have said yes too.
But also a jab of fear that Jett is becoming something I didn’t think I ever wanted again.
Was too afraid to want.
“Emory?” Jett prompts when I don’t answer.
“Um… yeah, maybe.” My mind races, wondering if I should accept, if I should instead offer to come to him so I can get lost in the amazing things he will do to me if we’re alone. If I should cut ties with him, and while I hate that the thought popped into my mind, I don’t fully push it away.
“Emory,” Jett says again, this time very softly but there’s incredible command there. “It’s a yes or no type of answer.”
My eyes slide to Jenna. She doesn’t know what his side of the conversation has been but she reads me well. Her look says, Don’t be a dumbass and screw this up.
It jolts me back where I need to be. A place where I can hope for a better future. “The answer is yes, of course. We’d love that.”
I try to ignore the soft sigh of relief I hear over the line, and it’s in this moment that I know Jett knows I’m having doubts.
I don’t want that to be a secret from him. He means too much for me to not be plain spoken about how I think Shane has managed to fuck up all my feelings.
It’s a conversation we’ll have another time though.
For now, I’m going to be in the moment with him. I speak a very real truth, no matter how frayed everything else feels. “I miss you.”
I can hear the smile in his voice. “I miss you, too.”
“Play great tonight.”
“I will,” he assures me and we disconnect.
I stare at my phone for a moment, but it’s Jenna that brings me back to reality.
“Don’t fuck this up with him,” she says, her voice almost pleading. “He’s a good man.”
“I know he is.” And more than anything, I really want to see what this can be. I want to move past my insecurities. “I promise.”
That seems to satisfy her because she picks up her pizza and starts eating again. Mine remains ignored because I’m just not hungry anymore.
My mind is still racing, trying to process all my feelings.
CHAPTER 24
Jett
This is new, and I’m not sure I like it.
I should be riding high tonight.
We fucking creamed the L.A. Demons, which is always a big deal for our team, and not necessarily because they’re a big team rival.
Rather, there’s bad blood since about this time last year their defenseman, Lars Nilsson, provoked a fight with Tacker, mocking the death of Tacker’s fiancée when the plane he was flying crashed.
Tacker beat the crap out of him and earned a ten-game suspension.
Since then, every time we step foot out on the ice against this team, tensions are high. Any little action by their team that could be deemed beyond fair play is met with retaliation. Check out the stats… I guarantee you this is the team we’re most penalized against, and I bet the same is true for them.
At any rate, we walked away gloating over our 4-1 victory. The team plane isn’t coming back until tomorrow morning, so most of the guys went out for a few drinks.
I chose to stay back in the room, for no reason other than I was honestly tired as shit. I played a hard game tonight, a whopping twenty-two minutes of ice time where I went all out.
Not that I don’t go all out at every game, but for some reason, I was just overly driven tonight. My legs were pumping harder, my determination fueling me to go faster. I’d like to think it was the fact we were playing to win against that fucknut Lars Nilsson but deep down, I knew my adrenaline was being fueled by worries over Emory.
I know she’s plagued hard by them, and I am too.
I’m also feeling a bit uncertain as to how her worries are going to affect what we’ve become, and there’s no doubt they will. This shit with Shane has been a burden on her, and she’s a woman who likes to handle shit on her own.
She’s had no choice but to and I know she doesn’t like depending on others.