Just give in.
You’ll be dead by twenty-five.
I took a breath, my hands shaking. I took a breath, my heart breaking. I took a breath, and I did the only thing that I knew how to do.
I opened the drawer, seconds away from allowing the darkness inside, seconds away from fading from the light, but then, my phone dinged.
Alyssa: What are you doing?
Alyssa texted me exactly when I needed her to, even though I was offended that she waited until eleven at night to write me. The only person I heard from for my birthday was Kellan, who took me out to dinner. All Dad gave me was a black eye, and all Ma gave me was disappointment.
Alyssa was the one I was counting on, though. She was my best friend, and hadn’t said a word all day.
Me: Lying in bed.
Alyssa: Okay.
Ellipses.
Alyssa: Come downstairs.
Sitting up a little, I reread her messages. With haste, I tossed on my tennis shoes, a pair of sunglasses, my red hoodie, and hurried out of the apartment. Parked right in front of the building was Alyssa, smiling toward me. I glanced around the streets at people drinking and smoking.
God. I hate it when you come here. Especially at night.
I climbed into the passenger seat of her car, and locked the doors the moment I was inside. “What are you doing, Alyssa?”
“Why are you wearing sunglasses?” she asked.
“No reason.”
She reached across to me, and took them off.
“Oh Logan…” she whispered, slightly touching my bruised eye.
I snickered and recoiled. “You think that’s bad? You should see the other guy.”
She didn’t laugh. “Your dad?”
“Yeah. It’s fine though.”
“It’s not fine. I’ve never hated someone so much in my life. Is your mom okay?”
“She’s far from okay, but she’s okay.” I watched as Alyssa’s eyes began to water, but I quickly stopped her. “Everything’s okay. I promise. Let’s just go to wherever we are going to so I can forget for a while.”
“Okay.”
“And Alyssa?”
“Yes, Logan?”
My fingers wiped her tears away, and I allowed my touch to linger against her cheeks. “Smile.”
She gave me a huge, cheesy, fake smile. It was good enough for me.
She put the car in drive, and kept driving for a long, long time. We didn’t talk the whole way, and I wasn’t sure what exactly she was up to. When the car pulled over to the side of an abandoned road, my confusion grew.
“Seriously. What are we doing?”