“Not yet,” he said, pulling away, removing his fingers from me.
Our eyes locked, and the way he looked at me made me feel as if I’d never be alone. “Alyssa,” he said. “I love you.” His voice was shaky, and his eyes watered up, yet the tears fell from my eyes.
You’re my best friend, Lo, I thought.
We were closer than I ever knew any people to ever be. He was a part of me in every way possible, our lives twining together as if we were one flame burning together in the dark of the night.
When he felt like crying, the tears always came from my eyes first.
When his heart wanted to break, mine shattered.
You’re my best friend.
He bent forward and kissed me. He kissed me with promises that we never made to one another. He kissed me with apologies for things he never did. He kissed me with all that he was, and I kissed him back with everything that existed within me.
He stood up and removed his pants and boxers, and even though I felt safe, the butterflies still formed in my gut. “You can change your mind, High,” he swore. “You can always change your mind.”
I held my hands out to him, and he took mine in his. He came back to me and climbed on top, widening my knees. When his hips brushed against my upper thigh, I let out a light moan, my legs tingling with desire, with fear, with passion, with love.
“I love you,” I whispered, making him pause. His lips parted but no words came out. He seemed surprised that someone could love him. “I love you,” I repeated, watching a softness come to his eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you,” he whispered, placing his lips against mine. Tears fell from his eyes and intermixed with my own. I knew how hard those words were for him. I knew how scared he was to expose himself like that. But I also knew how much I loved him.
“Tell me to stop if I hurt you,” he said. But I didn’t need to. The pain was there, but the want was more. He was my security blanket, my safe haven, my most beautiful Lo. He rocked his hips against mine, sliding himself deeper into me.
“I love you,” he whispered.
He thrust once.
“I love you…” he said once more.
Twice.
“I love you…” he murmured.
Three times.
“Logan…I… I’m going to…”
Once, twice, three times, four…
High.
Low.
Heaven.
Hell.
Him.
Me.
Us.
We released, shaking against one another, falling apart yet somehow becoming whole. Losing ourselves, but finding each other.
I loved him.