Sometimes I wish I had a reason to wear the patch; but, as long as I’m a screw up, I’ll find a reason to light up.
“What’s the deal with you and Landon anyway?” Sally asks. It’s a question filled with too many explanations. I shrug it off, blow a cloud smoke into the chilled air, and laugh when I see Sally try to catch the smoke in her mouth.
“Your mom’s so happy you’re here,” she smiles and stares out into the backyard, noticing the absurd Christmas lights, yet she doesn’t mention it. “She worries you know, about how you’re doing. She wonders if you’re all right.”
“I know.”
“Are you, though? Are you all right, kiddo?”
Another shrug. I’m not sure if I know what being ‘all right’ means. I turned twenty-seven a few months ago and drive a car my dad paid for, live in an apartment he pays half the rent for, and bartend to pay the other half. No matter how much I’ve tried to get myself out there in the world of acting, I haven’t caught a break here in Chicago. How do you even start building a résumé if the only way to get a part is based on your nonexistent résumé?
“I’m good.”
She smiles and lays her head on my shoulder. “For an actor you’re a shitty liar. Oh P.S., guess who picked you for secret Santa.” Sally reaches into her coat pocket and hands me a piece of paper. “I know it’s early and way less than five dollars, but fuck it. You know how I feel about rules and shit.”
Narrowing my eyes, I open up the folded paper, and am taken back. My eyes shoot back to my aunt and she’s still smiling. “You kidding me?”
“Merry Christmas, buddy.”
The paper holds the name of a lady I’m supposed to meet tomorrow at one in the afternoon for a chance to sign with their acting agency. Not just any agency, but Walter and Jack’s Talent Agency, one of the top agencies in the city. I look at Sally, no words coming to mind. My body reacts to the letter though; my hands become shaky and my feet begin tapping against the step. Running my hand across my face, trying to bite back the tears, I release a deep-gutted sigh.
“How? What…? Sally, you don’t know what this means to me.”
She leans in and smiles. “I do. But don’t thank me. It was actually your mom who got in touch with Stacey, who goes to the same church as we do. She’s the one you’re meeting with. Your mom fed her your sob story and she fell for it. Stacey’s also all kinds of pregnant and hormonal, so I’m sure that helped the cause.”
`”Mom did this?” I hold the paper, shocked a bit. This time my hand runs across my face and wipes actual tears away.
“Listen, kid. Just because one of your parents—my lame brother—is an ass doesn’t mean they both are. After what happened with Penny, we know it’s been hard on you, ya know? But your mom, she believes in you more than you believe in yourself. So I don’t know, maybe think about showing up for a Sunday dinner every now and then?”
I put out the cigarette, and Sally pushes off the step and heads back inside. Digging into my jacket, I pull out a piece of gum and pop it into my mouth. Turning to look inside, I see Mom joking around with Sally and my gut tightens up.
I should’ve made time for Sunday dinners.
Walking back into the house, I see Mom putting the finishing touches on her meal. She always outdoes herself, making these huge meals for people who hardly ever appreciate them. I know I never really did. Moving over to her, I wrap my arms around her tiny body and squeeze her tight. She doesn’t respond with words, but she holds me right back.
“Sally told you?” she whispers. I hold her tighter, and she edges away, looking into my eyes, “I couldn’t care less if you are a doctor or a lawyer, or a freaking garbage man. The only thing I want is for you to be happy, Kayden.” Her eyes tear up and her hands lie over her heart. “I can promise you there’s nothing worse in this world than being a mother and seeing your kid suffer. No matter their age. If this acting thing makes you happy then it makes me happy. All right?”
I smile and nod once. “All right.”
“Good.” She pushes me away from her and points toward the living room. “Now go hate your brother and your dad some more. It wouldn’t be a holiday without all of your stupid attitudes.”
Moving over to the stove, I breathe in the delicious foods. Taking my finger, I go to taste one of her many sauces heating up and she slaps my hand. “No! That one has pecans in it, and I’m not interested in killing you today. Try the one in the back I made for you.”
Listening to her order, I do as I’m told and it tastes as fantastic as always. There’s really nothing like Ma’s cooking.
I really should make time for Sunday dinners.
The rest of the night runs pretty smoothly, because my mind is focused on nailing the interview tomorrow. Dad and Landon make their normal, offensive remarks about me, but I don’t give a shit. Tomorrow everything changes, tomorrow my life begins.
Tomorrow, I prove them all wrong.
After a night spent at my parents’ house, I am more determined than ever to ace this audition. But the longer I sit across from this pregnant lady who looks like she’s five, the more I feel like a failure. She tugs on her ear, browsing over my less-than-amusing résumé, which forces me to shift around in my chair.
“So, Mr. Reece, you’ve been acting for—?”
“A few years. Mainly looking for a way to break into the business, to get a chance to show what I can do.”
She nods, muttering to herself as she continues looking at the résumé with a look of displeasure. Setting the resume aside, she lifts her head to give me a benign, kind smile that does little to disguise the pity she feels as she searches for the right words to let me down gently. “You have a great look, you really do. A fresh face, nice voice. But—”