I shook my head. "Falling in love might've violated your vestal oath. But that wasn't a crime against Caesar."
Atroxia drew in a sharp breath, as if holding back tears. "The vestals also protect many of the treasures of Rome. One of them was a hunting knife that had once belonged to the gods. It belonged to --"
"Diana," I finished. "The vestals had her knife, and Brutus wanted it."
"I don't think he ever loved me in return," Atroxia said. "He only made me believe that so he could persuade me to get the knife for him."
"Sixty senators attacked Caesar on the day he was killed," I said. "Any one of them could have dealt him the fatal blow."
A sob erupted from her before she caught it in her throat. "He was stabbed by those senators twenty-three times. As a demigod, he could have survived them all. The wound that finally killed him came from Diana's blade, held by Brutus. Stolen from the vestals ... by me."
Silence fell between us yet again. This time, I couldn't quite believe everything I was hearing. What she had done was wrong, no doubt. Very wrong. But Radulf had told me that Brutus and the other senators involved in Caesar's assassination were allowed to safely leave the city. Atroxia was not granted that privilege.
"For that they buried you alive?"
She was crying again. "Please do not leave me here in this cave. Not where I must face Caesar's ghost. Not where I am condemned yet again."
"Diana cursed you, Atroxia. You are more than a vestal. You are the Mistress."
Coins clinked beneath her feet. She was moving again. But so was I, as quietly as possible.
/> "She had to curse me, to save my life. And in return, I must do as she wishes. Diana is right to be angry, Nicolas. You should understand that better than anyone."
"Me? Why?"
"What has Rome ever done for you? They enslaved you -- oh, yes, I know more than you think. They have betrayed you and even sought to kill you to get your power for themselves. They have never valued you, just as the gods have never valued Diana, even after all she has done. No, it was always Venus they loved. They gave Caesar honors and left Brutus to make his own way in the world."
I became aware we were no longer talking about me -- if we ever were. No, this was about the feud between Brutus and Caesar. Between Diana and Venus.
"I want nothing from Rome but my freedom," I said. "I will protect the empire only until I can leave this place behind."
"And all the Mistress wants is to bring the empire down," Atroxia said. "To leave them in ruins the way they left me in ruins. She will rebuild a new empire, dedicated solely to Diana." There was a new sound in the room. It was metal, but this time a slicing sound, not a clinking one. I didn't recognize it.
"Your anger is poisoning you," I said. "That's your true curse. Until you let go of that anger, you will always be the Mistress. And I will have to leave you trapped in here."
"No!"
An arm wrapped around my throat and pulled me to the ground. Atroxia had grabbed me from behind, and now something sharp went to my neck. Some sort of blade. That was the slicing sound I had heard -- Atroxia picking it up from somewhere in the room.
"The Malice must be used to serve Diana. So you will either swear to serve her, or I will take the Malice from you as a gift to the goddess. With it, she will defeat the gods and take her proper place amongst them."
I could have used the Malice to easily stop her, but I didn't yet know its magic. Would I use too much and collapse this cave room? Even if I survived it, whatever magic I unleashed might also provide a means for her escape, and I could not risk that. So instead, I contained my magic and struggled against the sharp edge. It wasn't enough. I knew exactly where it cut.
She was fumbling for the bulla, trying to break the strap around my neck, and nicking my skin with each failed attempt. "You will not leave me here," she said. "Take me away, or all your magic will be mine!"
"I will not take you anywhere!" I said. "You are evil, Atroxia, and you deserve this curse. Stay here, and sort out your complaints with Caesar's ghost. He will be your only company!"
Then I closed my eyes and pictured the shore of Lake Nemi. Dawn was rising outside; I could see the earliest hints of light. And almost as suddenly as I had imagined it, I was there.
Granted, I'd landed on my back at the edge of the shore, where each wave came up beneath me, beckoning me back into the water.
But I wouldn't go down again. Diana would drown me if I did. I felt for the Malice first, and then the bulla, and then wiped at the cuts on my neck. It stung, but the Divine Star was already at work healing them, and all other parts of my body that still felt some pain.
I stood and faced the water, then held out my right hand toward the lake. The Malice would seal up the tunnel, trapping Atroxia inside Caesar's cave. Trapping the dragon there.
But as soon as the tunnel closed, I heard Atroxia's voice in my head again, sobbing. "That wasn't me, Nicolas. The Mistress seeks to control me again. Even the best person could not fight a curse such as this. Please help me."
Her pleas would do her no good. She could cry all she wanted, but it wouldn't change her crimes against Caesar or what she had just attempted against me. Maybe the vestalis wasn't so different from the dragon after all. They were only two halves of the same angry creature.