"She's sealed up in the same cave where I first found the bulla."
"The dragon or the human?"
I shrugged. "Both, I suppose. There's no difference between them."
"There's every difference! I know how terrified I'd be if you'd left me alone in that much darkness!"
"And if I release her, then I release the dragon! What Crispus has done will protect you, but no one else in Rome."
"Of course." Aurelia pursed her lips. "I know you heard Atroxia crying when she was in the temple on Crispus's land."
"Only when I got close enough. She began crying again after I left her in Caesar's cave."
"Could you hear her from the edge of the lake?" Aurelia paused a moment, and almost seemed hesitant to ask the next question. "Right before we left Diana's temple, could you hear her then?"
"I hear her right now. She's stronger than before." I pressed a hand against my forehead. "Sometimes it's Atroxia; sometimes it's the Mistress. I think she shifts from one form to the other, trying to figure out which is more likely to get her released."
"The Mistress threatens you, yes?" Aurelia asked. "What about Atroxia?"
"She begs me to help her."
"Only you can help me," Atroxia whispered just then. "Please, Nic."
Aurelia stopped walking when I did. "Help her? How?"
It was my turn to shrug. "I think the Mistress uses Atroxia to trick me. I can't trust or believe the things she says."
"What if it's real? What if Atroxia is asking you to break the curse so that she can just go back to being a vestalis again?"
I sighed. "Even if that were true, I can't break the curse." I didn't know how to do that, just as I didn't know how to destroy the amulets or how to win the Praetor War. I didn't even know how to properly talk to Aurelia right now. Just thinking of everything I didn't know compared to the few unimportant things I did suddenly made me very tired, enough that I had to lean against a nearby brick wall.
She pulled my hand from my forehead and held it between both of hers. "Nic, are you well?"
"I was awake all night, then spent most of my strength on Radulf today. Nothing more."
"That's not it. I see the way everyone pulls at you, telling you what to do. I'm one of those people, so I know it's happening. We only do it because we care about you and about how this all ends, and we only say what we think is right. But I know it's weighing on you." Her brows furrowed, and she stepped in closer to me. "How can I help?"
I knew what didn't help, and that was having her so close. Didn't she know that her very presence changed the beat
of my heart, the rhythm of my breath? If not for the wall behind me, I would've backed away.
No, I wouldn't have backed away. The wall was only an excuse. I wanted to be here with her, more than anything. But I also wanted her here without a promise to Crispus or a threat from the Mistress standing between us.
I continued staring at her and saw a stray lock of hair that had fallen free of its braid. I took it and gently folded it behind her ear, letting my hand linger there longer than it should have. I leaned even closer toward her.
"Nic?"
That was Crispus's voice. Aurelia and I backed away from each other and must've stood there looking immensely stupid when Crispus found us. His eyes roamed from her to me.
"I've just arrived," he finally said. "How is Radulf?"
"He'll live." Simple as the words were, I felt guilty for saying them because I had not been able to save Crispus's father, who hadn't been nearly as injured as Radulf.
Crispus accepted my answer without judgment. He only pointed to his Praetor armband. "We should talk about this."
"If you touch Nic, will he lose his magic?" Aurelia's question had a bitter edge to it. Any Praetor's touch would empty me of my powers.
Crispus shrugged. "I think so, especially if that was my intention for touching him. But I'm not here for that reason. I'll never do that. I'm still the person I was this morning."