"You're welcome," Trina said. "If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it then. Remember that."
I remembered very little from last night, and far too much from before that. She and I would never be friends. "What happens now?"
"We took a heavy loss last night." Tenger had been tending to his golden leg, readjusting the strap where it was attached to his thigh. But he looked up. "I hate to say it, but the Coracks may need to join forces with the Halderians. We'll need their numbers to give our Infidante a chance of getting close to Endrick."
"The Halderians have been content to sit back while we fight the Dominion," Gabe said. "Why would they join us now?"
Tenger smiled at me, before I turned away in disgust. "Because we have the Olden Blade. We'll go down to the Hiplands today."
The Dominion knew that's where most of the Halderians had gone, but Endrick had been forced to ignore the Hiplands, in order to deal with the Coracks.
Simon said, "Gabe and Trina will go north and try to find any surviving Coracks to begin regrouping." His fingers interlocked with mine. "You and I will go with Tenger to the Hiplands."
"To the Halderians?" Irritated, I pulled my hand away. "Why not push me off a cliff now and save them the trouble?"
"Then you'll go north, as Trina's ransom against further Dominion attacks," Tenger said.
Another great plan. Tenger had treated me as ransom last night. How well had that worked out for him?
Simon nodded at the cloak covering me. "Trina grabbed that on her way out of Silven. When we reach the Halderians, keep the hood up. No one should notice you."
I hoped he was right. I didn't want to think of the Halderians as enemies--they were Darrow's people, and Gerald's. But I doubted they'd afford me the same courtesy. I would go to the Halderians long enough to see the new Infidante. Depending on who it was, I'd stay and fight, or get as far from this country as possible.
I briefly wondered if Simon would consider leaving Antora with me. Would his feelings be enough to make him turn his back on his oaths, on his future? Could he ever love me, without condition, without second-guessing the wisdom of giving his heart to an Endrean?
I wanted to ask, but if I did, I couldn't bear to hear him tell me no. So I wouldn't ask. I wouldn't allow myself to hope. If I left Antora, I'd go alone.
Gabe had found a few wild bilberries, which he shared with all of us, though there weren't nearly enough to go around. I wasn't hungry, but Simon forced me to eat them anyway, insisting I take his as well.
Tenger carried the Olden Blade wrapped in a cloth and tucked in his belt. I had already casually checked his palm for a burn, wondering if he had tried to claim the Blade, like me. There was no sign of a burn, so he must be waiting until the ceremony to make an official claim. If he had successfully claimed it, he would have told us.
Before mounting his horse, Tenger pulled me aside. His attitude seemed different than his usual arrogance. He made no attempt to intimidate or frighten me, yet he still carried the authority of the man in charge. "There are some things you must accept, Kestra. Thousands of Antorans have died since Endrick took power. Darrow's death is a cruel one to accept, but there will be more before we succeed."
"Could he have survived?"
After years involved with the rebellion, Tenger had probably hardened beyond such foolish hopes. "Believe it, if that helps you. But now that you're with us, you're going to see the true effects of war."
"I'm not with you." Did he really think I'd ever fall in line behind him? "I'll fight on my own, or leave on my own."
"Then you'll die on your own. I know you think of us as enemies. I'd think the very same way if our positions were reversed. And maybe we were enemies when this all began, but I hope that will change in time."
I snorted, privately wondering how much time would have to pass before it was safe to tell him about my Endrean mother. A thousand years, maybe more?
He continued, "If you are committed to bringing Lord Endrick down, as I am, then can we start there, as friends?"
"I agree that Endrick cannot be allowed to remain on the throne. But that does not make us friends."
"I'm sorry to hear it," he said, looking almost sincere. "Perhaps one day."
Perhaps when it rained oxen. Not a moment before.
When I didn't respond, Tenger took the reins of his horse and swung into the saddle. We bid farewell to Gabe and Trina, and then Simon helped me into the saddle of his horse. I sat sidesaddle until I could find more appropriate travel clothes. Simon's arms went around me to hold the reins, but really, he was holding me, not so different from when he'd comforted me in the dungeons.
Tenger took note of it, but said nothing, and I was grateful for the silence. I couldn't fight everything. It was enough to remember to keep breathing.
Tenger set out ahead of us, taking us down the rugged coastline, high above the foamy seawater and deeper into the rolling hills. Their luster of the warmer months had faded, but spring would brighten them again. I thought of the loss of Darrow and hoped better times would come again for me too.
"How long until we reach the Halderians?" I asked.