Gabe barely glanced at me to say, “Leave.”
“Please, I’d rather—”
“I don’t know where Wynnow is, but Trina is on the other side of that slot with our horses. She’ll be here by morning. Simon didn’t trust her with you, and if he’s right, then you’d better leave while you can. I’ll tell her you escaped.”
“I can still help!”
“You never help, Kestra, you only make things worse. If you’re still here in the morning, I won’t protect you from Trina, understand? Now get out of this camp.”
“I don’t know where to go.”
“And I don’t care. Just leave.”
Woodenly, I nodded and stood, feeling as if I were in a trance. Wishing this was simply another nightmare that would end if I only opened my eyes. I left with no particular direction in mind, as long as it was away from the slots. I was soaked through and shivering with cold, but I was barely aware of that.
Mostly my heart hurt. It shouldn’t have. I’d done what was necessary to escape, and I had succeeded. I should have been celebrating now, not only because I’d proven that I was stronger than anyone believed, but also because I had rid the world of another Corack.
As a Dallisor, that’s how I should have felt. But all I really wanted was to know if Simon had somehow survived what I’d done, and if he understood why I’d done it.
I didn’t understand, not really. Not anymore. I was thoroughly disgusted with myself.
Eventually, the lightning passed and the rain calmed. By morning, I’d have to find a secure place to hide if Trina came searching for me, which she surely would. Until then, I needed to rest. I found a little juniper tree and leaned against i
t, indifferent to the thick drops of water that rolled off the needles. I closed my eyes, fighting back tears of exhaustion and fear and a consuming guilt. And fell asleep sobbing.
I dreamed that night of Lord Endrick. In the dream, I was a child again, maybe six or seven years old, and I’d followed a ladybird beetle through Woodcourt’s gardens until I accidentally crawled right onto Lord Endrick’s boot, hitting his leg. I wanted to run away, but crouched there instead, frozen with fear.
In the dream, he knelt beside me and looked at the ladybird. “Why are you letting this insect lead you where it wants to go? Command it to follow you instead.”
That struck me as funny, though when I laughed, his expression tightened with irritation, frightening me. Summoning my courage to state the obvious to a king, I said, “An insect won’t follow my commands.”
“Then I want you to crush it.”
“No!”
“Look at me, my dear child.” I did, though it took all the courage in my young heart to do it. “We are the Dominion, and I am its king. All others are insects to us. They must obey or be crushed.” His voice was cold, cruel, dismissive of life. Small as I was, I knew my existence mattered as little to him as this beetle’s.
He continued, “When I was young, my people were outcasts, mistrusted and feared by all other Antorans. We kept to the mountains and caves, despite our unquestionable superiority. I begged my superiors to let me leave, especially since I hadn’t found my powers and was considered a defect, but they never allowed it. Then, one day, Halderian soldiers invaded our territories and tried to banish us from Antora. I fought back, the only Endrean to resist expulsion, and in doing so, discovered my powers. The Halderians are the Banished now, and I am in control.” His eyes narrowed. “You are part of the Dominion, child. Learn to control your world. Crush that insect.”
I shook my head, but something larger than me, something unseen, forced my hand to cover the ladybird, ready to smash it flat. Endrick’s magic.
“Once you’ve tasted control, nothing less will satisfy you,” he said. “Now do as I’ve commanded.”
Gritting my teeth, I folded my fingers around the ladybird. He smiled, anticipating my obedience, but instead, I picked it up and flung it deeper within the gardens where I hoped it would land safely away from him.
Lord Endrick stretched out his arm and a fire immediately burst across the entire garden. I reared back from the flames, but he grabbed my wrist. “How dare you?” he snarled.
“Lady Kestra!” A young servant boy of Woodcourt darted out from behind the garden wall. “Your mother is calling for you. She begs you to come right away.”
Lord Endrick glared down at me, then released my wrist, leaving it red and sore. “Go to your mother, child. We will continue this lesson another day. I will remember you …”
With that, I’d startled myself awake, dripping with sweat as if I’d actually been next to that fire and not out here on a cold night. My heart pounded, and for several awful minutes I was sure I was about to be sick. Because deep inside, I knew that hadn’t just been a dream. It had happened.
I didn’t close my eyes again that night. I didn’t dare.
The dark morning gradually turned to dawn, and despite my every wish to remain curled up beneath this tree, I knew I’d have to face the day. I stood and only then realized that Simon’s satchel was on the ground beside me.
I scowled under my breath, cursing my own stupidity. It wasn’t enough to kill him; I had to steal his most prized possessions too? The ring at least was heavy, so I suspected it could fetch a fair price at market. I pulled it out of his satchel and studied it.