“No. Before you took me from the Lonetree Camp, I told him that I wouldn’t marry him.”
“What changed?”
“Nothing. I just didn’t want to pretend anymore with him.”
He studied me a moment, then said, “Maybe you’ve had to pretend, to protect yourself. Or perhaps you think that you’re protecting me.”
A flutter swirled in my belly. “I don’t remember you, Simon. All these moments you describe of us, feelings … they’re in your head, not mine.”
“I’ve only told you the truth.”
“I don’t have any truth. And without it, I have no trust.”
He stepped closer and my breath locked in my throat. “Can you trust me?”
I hesitated, my mouth suddenly dry and with a dull pinch in my heart. I desperately wanted to answer his question the way he wanted to hear it, but I couldn’t.
Simon added, “Talk to me, please.”
That was impossible—why couldn’t he understand that? “You are working against Lord Endrick. I am sworn to obey his orders.”
“Since when?”
“For as far back as I can—” I hesitated.
“As far as you can remember? You do not have to obey him.” He glanced down to see me fingering the necklace. I hadn’t realized I was until he gestured at it. “What is that, really? What is it doing to you?”
I shook my head, releasing the necklace. Whatever it was, I knew one thing for certain. “I do have to obey him, Simon. I do.”
Kestra allowed me to be close to her, until the instant I reached for her necklace. Then she backed off, the expression in her eyes reminding me of a cornered animal.
“Let me see it more closely. I promise to return it.” I put my arms around her neck and fingered the clasp, but the second I did, she pushed me away, her breaths becoming shallow and harsh.
“No, Simon.”
“You don’t want to remove the necklace, or he won’t allow it? Which is it?”
“Doesn’t matter. I have to keep it on.”
“Or else what happens?”
Tears filled her eyes, but she shook her head. I kept my distance and finally she said, “If I ever knew the answer, it’s gone now.”
“But there are some memories returning to you, correct?”
“Even if there were, I wouldn’t trust them.” She looked away from me, deliberately. “Some of what’s in my head isn’t real, and I can’t always tell the difference.”
“False memories?”
“Maybe.”
Taking a step toward her, I suggested, “What if you let everything go but this single moment? What’s happening now is real. Can that be enough for now? Ignore everything else and start over.”
A shy smile tugged at her mouth. “With you?”
I stepped toward her again and bowed low. “Good afternoon, my lady. My name is Simon Hatch.”
Her smile widened, and she gave a polite curtsy. “I’m Kestra.”